THE WEST WING
1x4 - “FIVE VOTES DOWN”
TELEPLAY BY AARON SORKIN
STORY BY LAWRENCE O'DONNELL & PATRICK CADDELL
DIRECTED BY MICHAEL LEHMANN
Transcript By: Cindy Dechief
Edited and formatted by Walking, Talking, and Yelling At Clouds (kegofglory.blogspot.com)
Link To My Blog Post For This Episode
TEASER
FIVE VOTES DOWN
FADE IN: INT. BALLROOM – NIGHT
MONDAY NIGHT
We hear applause as BARTLET is speaking at a dinner. He stands behind the podium while a crowd of donors and party supporters listen. Hanging behind him is a banner that says 'Practical Idealism.’
BARTLET
And then one night he went in and set the briefcase down and he said, 'Bess, why do you suppose it is only sons-of-bitches know how to lick a stamp?' [laughter and applause] The point is, friends, you've gotta write a letter, you've gotta send a fax, you've gotta pick up the phone and call Western Union. You've gotta contact your Congressional representatives -
Backstage, LEO is watching the speech as his phone rings. He answers it, while BARTLET continues in the background.
BARTLET (in background)
You've gotta say 'Mister, I've got a friend whose neighbor is dead -’
LEO (into phone)
McGarry here.
BARTLET (in background)
'- Madam, I've got a neighbor whose friend is dead, whose husband is dead, whose mother is dead, kids are dead! Kids are dead!’
LEO (into phone)
What are you talking about?
BARTLET (in background)
' - and I wanna know, mister. I wanna know, madam -’
LEO (into phone)
How did it happen?
BARTLET (in background)
‘- how you intend to vote on Wednesday, so that I'll know how I’m gonna vote next November -'
LEO (into phone)
Well how did the wheels come off this thing?
BARTLET (again behind the podium)
You gotta ask 'em. You gotta ask 'em! [Applause. JOSH joins LEO backstage.]
LEO
We lost five votes.
JOSH
What?
LEO
We lost five votes.
JOSH
Give me names.
LEO
I don't got them yet. Get on the phone.
JOSH
[groans]Oh, man!
JOSH gets on the phone. Somewhere backstage, TOBY is watching BARTLET on a TV screen.
BARTLET (on TV)
You know ... I had a civil procedure professor who said once -
TOBY
Take a beat. [pause] There you go.
BARTLET
He said, 'When the law is on your side, argue the law; and when the facts are on your side, argue the facts -’
LEO and JOSH are both talking on their phones, with BARTLET on TV screens in the background.
LEO (into phone)
But it's not in cement.
BARTLET (in background)
‘- When you don't have the law on your side, and you don't have the facts on your side, bang your fist on the defense table as loud as you can.'
BARTLET (behind the podium, as the crowd applauds)
Well, we've got the law on our side now, and we've got the facts on our side now -
JOSH (into phone)
Yes, this is Josh Lyman. Please, call me. I need to know what happened.
BARTLET (in background)
‘ - our fist on the table, but we're not listening any more. We're not having it any more. We're gonna win on Wednesday. We're gonna win on Wednesday! Thank you all. [The crowd stands up and applauds.] God bless you, and God bless America!’
BARTLET works his way out of the room while Happy Days Are Here Again plays. The staff follows as they all walk through the back hallways. SAM shakes BARTLET's hand.
SAM
Fantastic.
BARTLET
Thank you.
BARTLET continues down the hall with his Secret Service AGENTS. SAM joins TOBY as they continue to follow the President.
SAM
Good job.
TOBY
[unenthusiastic] Yeah.
SAM
You didn't like it.
TOBY
I thought it was fine.
SAM
I thought it was a hell of a lot better than fine.
TOBY
[still unenthusiastic] It was good.
SAM
It was outstanding!
TOBY
He blew the D section.
SAM
Toby, they're still on their feet cheering.
TOBY
Yeah, I said it was fine.
CJ
[walks up] Sam - nice going.
SAM
Thank you. Tell him. [indicates TOBY]
CJ
Why?
SAM
Well-
TOBY
Because Sam wrote two and a half paragraphs and I wrote thirty-seven pages.
CJ
Still...
TOBY
He blew the D section.
CJ
I thought it was inspired.
TOBY
Why do you keep saying stuff like that to me?
CJ
[laughing] Just to watch your face turn that color. [They all go down the stairs.]
JOSH
[from behind] CJ!
CJ
[drops back] Hey, your little fan club was out in full force tonight.
JOSH
Well, they like me in my tux.
CJ
Do you think I have an unusually large neck?
JOSH
What the hell?
CJ
I'm just asking, 'cause one of the -
JOSH
Stop talking.
CJ
What's up?
JOSH
I want you to look calm while I'm telling you this.
CJ
Telling me what?
JOSH
We lost five.
CJ
What do you mean?
JOSH
802. Five votes jumped the fence.
CJ
[going buggy eyed] Are you kidding me?
JOSH
Nice job looking calm.
CJ
Are you kidding me?
JOSH
Leo just got off the phone with the Whip. Last nose count, we're five votes down.
CJ
What the hell happened?
JOSH
We, we don't know.
CJ
Give me names.
JOSH
We're finding out.
LEO
[from behind] Josh.
JOSH
Yeah?
SAM
[walks ahead to MANDY] Hi there.
MANDY
Hi.
The group is now walking through the hotel kitchen.
SAM
Happy Days Are Here Again?
MANDY
He likes it.
SAM
Who?
MANDY
The President.
SAM
We try to avoid having the President make aesthetic decisions.
MANDY
I made the decision.
SAM
Right. And I don't mean to step on your toes, but you might want to rethink marrying
the lines 'Kids are dead. Kids are dead!' and Happy Days Are Here Again.
MANDY (chuckling)
It's optimistic.
SAM
I'll say.
BARTLET is shaking hands with some of the kitchen staff, and then joins the group. They go down the stairs again.
BARTLET (to kitchen staff)
Thank you very much, thank you. Good night. [to TOBY, in front of him] Toby!
TOBY
Sir.
BARTLET
What'd you think?
TOBY (as the group works its way down another staircase)
I thought my work was outstanding, Mr. President.
BARTLET
I thought you would.
TOBY
Thanks for asking. Couldn't help but notice you got a little extemporaneous there in the D section.
BARTLET
Oh, you noticed that, did you?
TOBY
Yes sir, I did.
BARTLET
Yes. I did a little polish right up there on my feet.
TOBY
Yes, indeed.
BARTLET
Right in front of everybody. I looked to the side at one point, you know, I half
expected to see you comin’ at me with a salad fork.
The group is now in a hallway heading for the loading dock.
TOBY
Well, but for the Secret Service agents restraining me, sir.
BARTLET
Yup. Thank God for the Secret Service.
TOBY
Bless their hearts -
BARTLET
[sees a couple getting friendly in the hall] Hey there, fella. She deserves a nice
room and some supper. (the couple laughs)
TOBY
You like doing that, don't you, sir?
BARTLET
[smiles] Yeah. [TOBY laughs.] Hey, Charlie!
CHARLIE
[comes forward] Yes, sir?
BARTLET
What'd you think of the speech?
CHARLIE
Me?
BARTLET
Yes, you.
CHARLIE
Uh, I thought it was -
TOBY
He means the text of the speech, Charlie, discounting the little improv in the D section.
BARTLET
I mean the entire speech, Charlie, and in particular the delivery.
CHARLIE
I thought it was excellent.
BARTLET and TOBY
See!
TOBY laughs again.
BARTLET
See, I think what Charlie's trying to say is that in this case the singer outdistanced the song.
TOBY
Really. I, well, well, what I heard Charlie say was that the text was user-proof, although you did your level best to dis, disprove that in the D section.
BARTLET
You know what, Toby?
TOBY
Sir?
BARTLET
You're what my mother calls a pain in the ass.
TOBY
Well, that's what my mother calls it too, sir.
CHARLIE
Oh, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Yes, Charlie. By the way, did the First Lady call?
CHARLIE
The First Lady called at 8:40, sir. She wished you luck and told me to tell you to take your back medicine.
BARTLET
My back is fine.
CHARLIE
I have it here, sir.
BARTLET
Those damn things make me goofy.
BARTLET waves as the group comes out of the loading dock, with the motorcade waiting in the alley. A crowd of onlookers cheers.
CHARLIE
Mrs. Bartlet seemed quite adamant. I'd describe her tone as being -
BARTLET
You don't have to describe her tone to me, Charlie. I've been married to it for 32 years.
CHARLIE
Sir, I don't want to get in trouble with the First Lady -
BARTLET
Give me the medicine, Charlie. [takes the medicine and sticks it in his pocket] Thank you. Have a good night. I'll see you in the morning.
CHARLIE
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
[to the crowd] Thank you all.
BARTLET waves to the crowd and gets into his limousine, as JOSH and CJ walk by towards another car.
GIRLS IN THE CROWD
We love you, Josh!
JOSH
Thanks!
CJ
[to girls] It helps not to know him!
SECRET SERVICE AGENT DONNIE
[into radio while tapping the car] Here we go. Move it out.
The car engines start.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT
SAM, TOBY, MANDY, and CJ are sitting around a table, still in their dressy clothes from the event, eating Chinese food. LEO and JOSH are both on the phone.
CJ
Leo, your food's getting cold. You want me to bring it over?
LEO shakes his head and continues talking on the phone.
MANDY (eating)
Seriously, I have never had dumplings quite this good.
JOSH
[plaintively, holding a phone in the background] Isn't my food getting cold too?
CJ
We ate your food.
MANDY
CJ, you have to try this.
CJ
Oh thanks. Try some of this.
TOBY
[under his breath] Here it comes.
CJ (as she and MANDY trade bites from their containers)
Mmm! Oh, Sam - you gotta try the General Tso's chicken.
MANDY
And the Kung Pao chicken.
CJ
With the sauce. [offers the food. SAM takes a taste.]
MANDY
Oh, you gotta have it with the sauce.
SAM
[with mouth full] That's delicious!
CJ
You didn't try it with the sauce.
TOBY
Will the two of you - shut up?
MANDY
[to TOBY] Wanna try the spicy crispy beef?
TOBY
I'm really very happy with the food that I've got.
LEO gets off the phone and walks over to the table. He starts dishing up.
CJ
Botrell?
LEO
It's not Botrell. I've only got two, but Botrell isn't one of ‘em. Katzenmoyer
and Wick.
MANDY
I could've called that.
LEO
Sam, could you slide me a soda, please.
SAM slides a soda to LEO. JOSH hangs up his phone and walks over to the table. He has ditched his jacket and untied his bow tie.
JOSH
Everyone's someplace else. All I got was O'Bannon.
LEO
I didn't get O'Bannon. That's three.
JOSH
Who'd you get?
SAM
Katzenmoyer and Christopher Wick.
JOSH
Chris Wick?
LEO
Yeah.
JOSH
It's got to be a mistake. Who told you that?
LEO
Lee Tamaki and the Minority Whip.
JOSH
They've got bad information. There’s no way Chris Wick jumped the fence.
LEO
The President just told a ballroom full of people and anyone who reads a newspaper that we're gonna pass 802 on Wednesday. We got a 72-hour fight.
TOBY
How do we do that without makin’ noise?
MANDY
What do we care about noise?
LEO
There are two things in the world you never want to let people see how you make 'em: laws and sausages.
MANDY
Got it. First of all, obviously don't involve the President.
LEO
Absolutely. This is us. [pause] CJ, what's the press room going to be talkin’ about in the next few days?
CJ
Financial disclosures.
TOBY
That time again?
CJ
It's that time again.
JOSH
What are you worth there, Toby?
TOBY
[dryly] Well, I own this tuxedo, and I've got 23 bucks in my pocket.
MANDY
[giggles] That's good.
LEO
Financial disclosure it is.
MANDY
No, I, I mean, that's good.
JOSH
She's right.
MANDY
CJ, feed them human interest, not just, 'Look, we're disclosing assets.' I mean, people will really get a kick out of reading about how much money you guys have, especially when they find out you don't have any.
TOBY
It's a pretty humiliating way of taking one for the team, isn't it?
MANDY
They're gonna love you for being broke, Toby.
TOBY
I found that. I found that women especially can't get enough of my 1993 Dodge Dart.
LEO
How do we get the votes?
SAM
Well, setting aside Christopher Wick, and I agree with Josh, someone's gettin’ that wrong - Katzenmoyer and O'Bannon I buy. I'm gonna guess the other two are Tillinghouse, LeBrandt. That's what we're gonna hear tomorrow morning. Now the two of them are going to vote together on this, so we really only need to get to one, and whether it's Tillinghouse or LeBrandt, and it should be Tillinghouse, we're gonna need help.
JOSH
Yeah.
LEO
Who?
SAM
You're not gonna like it.
LEO
Who?
SAM
The Vice President.
LEO
No way.
JOSH
Leo -
LEO
No way.
JOSH
Tillinghouse and the Vice President -
LEO
I'm not using Hoynes.
MANDY
Actually, Leo, I have to say -
LEO
[looks at his watch] What time do you have? My watch says 2:00.
SAM
[looks at his watch] It's 2:00.
LEO
Somebody pay for this?
MANDY
I got it.
LEO
Make sure you turn in a receipt. I gotta go home. [as he leaves] Toby, Sam, beautiful work.
SAM
Thank you.
TOBY
[points at SAM with chopsticks] Two and a half paragraphs. [points at himself] Thirty-seven pages.
CUT TO: EXT. LEO'S HOUSE - LATE NIGHT
LEO's car pulls up to his house.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
LEO walks in and puts down a paper on a table. There is a large bouquet of flowers on that table. His wife, JENNY walks halfway down the stairs in her nightgown.
JENNY
Where've you been?
LEO
What do you mean?
JENNY
The event was over at 10:30. I thought you were gonna come straight home.
LEO (sighs)
Ah … I'm really sorry, Jenny.
JENNY
What happened?
LEO
We're five votes short on 802.
JENNY
[exasperated] And what can you possibly do about that at 2:00 in the morning that you can't do during normal business hours?
LEO
I can do things, Jenny, I - wake people up. I meet with key staff. It's a long -
JENNY
Leo... [pause] Come to bed.
LEO
Yeah. I'll be right up. [sees a box on a side table, picks it up and looks at it] What's this?
JENNY (sighs)
It's a wristwatch.
LEO
For me?
JENNY
Yeah.
LEO
From you?
JENNY
Yeah.
LEO
For what?
JENNY
[smiling uneasily] Our anniversary.
LEO reacts, ashamed and unhappy.
JENNY [cont., heading up the stairs]
Come to bed.
FADE TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE – DAY
TUESDAY
TOBY is sitting in his office talking with a woman named LEELA from the White House
Counsel's office.
LEELA
Unusual, don't you think?
TOBY
I honestly couldn't say.
LEELA
I'm saying, only owning one stock issue.
TOBY
Yes.
LEELA
It's pretty unusual.
TOBY
And I'm saying I really couldn't say. (chuckling) I have no background or education in the stock market. I'm a, speechwriter.
LEELA
You're the Communications Director, Toby. You can't tell me you have no idea -
TOBY
I can tell you, Leela. Ask the Treasury Secretary. Ask the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. I'm a total novice at this -
LEELA
Toby -
TOBY (cont.)
I have never owned a share of stock until last year.
LEELA
What made you buy the stock?
TOBY
I use the website, I like the company.
LEELA
Five thousand dollars worth?
TOBY
That's right.
LEELA
And now the stock is worth - $125,000?
TOBY (laughs)
Leela, I'm as surprised as anybody. I just - I didn't know until the accountant called your office.
LEELA (looking at a document)
Did you know that 71 percent of the increase happened the day after Cal Poly professor Theodore McGregor testified to the Commerce Committee on the future of Internet stocks?
TOBY
Of course I didn't. I, I'm telling you that I, I never pay any attention to the -
Someone knocks at the door.
TOBY (cont.)
Yes?
CAROL pokes her head in TOBY's door.
CAROL
Excuse me, Toby.
TOBY
Yeah.
CAROL
Sam says they got all five.
TOBY
Tillinghouse?
CAROL
Yeah.
TOBY
Thank you.
CAROL leaves while TOBY writes something on a pad.
LEELA
The White House Counsel's office is gonna want to investigate -
TOBY
Leela, I've got 48 hours to a crucial floor vote, is there any way that - ?
LEELA
Toby, you're the one who arranged for McGregor to testify in front of Commerce in the first place.
TOBY
I grew up on the same block as Ted McGregor. He's very well respected -
LEELA
No, I understand. But market analysts widely attribute the jump in technology stocks to the testimony of, among others - your boyhood friend. [pause; then incredulously] Are you telling me you didn't know what he was gonna say to the committee?
TOBY (agitated)
I'm telling you that not only didn't I know what he was going to say to the committee - not only didn't I care what he was going to say to the committee, but if he had sat in my office while I typed up his testimony for him [yells] I wouldn't have understood what he was gonna say to the committee!
LEELA
Toby -
TOBY
What!
LEELA
Friend to friend.
TOBY
[calms down] Yeah.
LEELA
You know that manipulating the stock market, or, or trying to or conspiring to manipulate the market in any way...is a federal crime, right?
TOBY
Leela, are you saying that I should be talking to a lawyer?
LEELA
Toby - I'm saying you're talkin’ to one right now.
TOBY looks worried.
CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE – DAY
JOSH and SAM are leaving the Oval Office. They pass MRS. LANDINGHAM.
JOSH
So what's the range of what we're talkin’ about?
MRS. LANDINGHAM
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
Thanks, Mrs. Landingham.
SAM
What's she congratulating you on?
JOSH
I don't know.
They walk out to the HALLWAY.
SAM
What's the range?
JOSH
Yeah.
SAM
Votes are expensive. O'Bannon's gonna want the farm subsidies revisited, Katzenmoyer's gonna go back to federal tax exempt for Metrolink. We're talkin’ about unions, defense contracts, possibly agency appointments and my point is the clock's runnin’, and we're no closer to answering the question.
JOSH
Which question?
SAM
How we get five votes without giving away everything in the store.
A WOMAN passes by.
WOMAN
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
Thanks.
SAM
Hey, what the hell's going on -?
JOSH
We do it by giving away nothing in the store.
SAM
We can't, I -
JOSH
I say nothin’.
SAM
What are you saying?
JOSH
Sam, LBJ never would've taken this kind of crap from Democrats in Congress. He'd have said, 'You're voting my way, in exchange for which, it is possible that I might remember your name, pal.' [stops walking] We need to win. And I mean win. We need to take a curtain call and a victory lap. And that's how we get momentum. We get it by being tough. We give away nothing. That's what I'm taking to Leo.
SAM
And Chris Wick?
JOSH
Chris Wick, I own his ass.
They walk into JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA to cheering and shouts of 'Congratulations.’ DONNA walks up.
JOSH
I sense I'm being mocked.
DONNA
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
What did I do?
DONNA
You won our award for best gift valued over $25 on the financial disclosure report.
JOSH
Really?
DONNA
Yeah.
JOSH
What won it for me?
DONNA
The $1189 Viennatelli silk smoking jacket from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
JOSH (grinning)
Ah, yes.
DONNA
You're also the runner up, by the way, with the $345 antique scrimshaw cigarette holder, also from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
JOSH
Well, Sarah was very fond of me.
DONNA
I'd imagine with that smoking jacket and the cigarette holder, you were quite the dandy.
JOSH
All right, this was fun, but Sam and I are busy making critical decisions, and I'm sure you have a lot of typing to do. So I'll talk to you later.
DONNA
Bye. [walks off]
SAM and JOSH keep going, right past JOSH's office.
JOSH
I'll take care of Chris Wick.
SAM
Where are you going?
JOSH
[stops and looks at SAM] Where are you going?
SAM
I was following you.
JOSH
I was following you. [pause] All right, don't tell anyone this happened, okay?
JOSH heads back towards his office as TOBY comes around the corner.
TOBY
Sam -!
SAM
Yeah -
TOBY
I've got a problem, I need to talk to you for a few minutes.
SAM
Sure. [heads off with TOBY]
LEO and MARGARET come in from the entrance.
LEO
It can be Dom, it can be Kristal. She likes them both.
MARGARET
Which do you like?
LEO
I don't drink champagne. The important thing is that it be in a high hat.
MARGARET
What's that?
LEO
It's the silver bucket that rests on a tripod. In fact, the whole meal should be under sterling silver.
MARGARET
They'll know what that means?
LEO
Yeah.
MARGARET
How about music?
LEO
I'll put on a record.
MARGARET
You don't want a violinist?
LEO
To play the violin?
MARGARET
Yeah.
LEO
Is that what people get now?
MARGARET
I know it's available.
LEO'S OFFICE. MARGARET follows LEO inside.
LEO
No. 'Cause after the initial thing wears off there's just a guy with a violin in my house.
MARGARET
Right.
LEO
Harry Winston's sending down the choker.
MARGARET
It'll be here this afternoon.
LEO
It's the right size.
MARGARET
We can only hope.
LEO
My wife's got a great neck.
MARGARET
This will certainly call attention to it.
LEO
Would you stop?
MARGARET
You spend too much money.
LEO
And you can squeeze the life out of a nickel better than any ten people I know.
MARGARET
Well, excuse me for not having made 40,000 a pop on the lecture circuit.
LEO
Stop reading the disclosure reports! They're none of your business.
MARGARET
They're gonna be printed in the newspaper in two days.
JOSH
[knocks and comes in] Leo -?
LEO
Josh ... do women like violinists?
JOSH
You thinking about taking lessons?
LEO
No, I mean to listen to next to the table.
JOSH
Gets a little - weird after a minute, doesn't it?
LEO
That's what I thought.
JOSH
Is it Jenny's birthday?
LEO
[quietly] I forgot our anniversary.
JOSH
In that case I'd shift into gear and bring on the Julliard String Quartet.
LEO
[to MARGARET] Call the guy.
MARGARET
Perhaps Mrs. McGarry would enjoy you in a nice smoking jacket. [looks pointedly at JOSH]
JOSH
Leave.
LEO
Call the guy.
MARGARET leaves.
JOSH
I'm going to see Katzenmoyer.
LEO
When?
JOSH
Right now.
LEO
What're you gonna give him?
JOSH
Nothing more than a wake up call. I want your permission to kick his ass.
LEO
You want to dangle his job in front of him?
JOSH
Yeah.
LEO
No.
JOSH
I wanna let him hear the branch creak.
LEO
We do that, it doesn't work, we can't do it again.
JOSH
If it doesn't work, I back off. If it doesn't work, we give Katzenmoyer a Metrolink and we let O'Bannon order off the menu. If it does work, I think we get the other four votes no problem when word gets out we're not screwing around.
LEO
[gives in] I should sell tickets to this meeting.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: EXT. CAPITOL BUILDING - DAY
JOSH and CONGRESSMAN KATZENMOYER are strolling along in front of the Capitol Building.
KATZENMOYER
You gotta understand the people in my district, Josh.
JOSH
Your constituents like the TEC-9 and the Rutger Mini-14, do they? They go quail hunting with an Uzi?
KATZENMOYER
I won with 52 percent of the vote. From the moment I'm sworn in I need to raise $10,000 a week just to run a reelection campaign.
JOSH
And you're not doin’ so well.
KATZENMOYER
Averaging $6500, that's money I would, I can just squeak by with. The NRA makes me a target in the next election, I lose, plain and simple. Ask me two years from now, I'll be there for you.
JOSH
Fifty-five thousand more people will be shot and killed with guns two years from now, but that's very much beside the point.
KATZENMOYER
What is your point?
JOSH
Forgive my bluntness, and I say this with all due respect, Congressman, but vote yes, or you're not even going to be on the ballot two years from now.
KATZENMOYER
How do you figure?
JOSH
You're gonna lose in the primary.
KATZENMOYER
There's no Democrat running against me.
JOSH
Sure there is.
KATZENMOYER
Who?
JOSH
Whomever we pick.
KATZENMOYER
You're bluffing.
JOSH
[shrugs] Okay. [starts to walk away. KATZENMOYER looks worried.]
KATZENMOYER
I, I'm in your own party!
JOSH
Doesn't seem to be doing us much good now, does it?
KATZENMOYER
Against an incumbent Democrat, you'd go to the press and endorse a challenger?
JOSH
No, sir. We're gonna do it in person. See, you won with 52 percent, but the President took your district with 59. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. Do you have any idea how much noise Air Force One makes when it lands in Eau Claire, Wisconsin? We're gonna have a party, Congressman. You should come, it's gonna be great. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo - You guys got a band gazebo -?
KATZENMOYER
Josh -
JOSH (cont.)
- doesn't matter, we'll build one. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President’s gonna drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. And you should have your camera with you. You should get a picture of that. 'Cause that's gonna be the moment you're finished in Democratic politics. (beat) President Bartlet's a good man. He's got a good heart. He doesn't hold a grudge. [puts on sunglasses] That's what he pays me for. [walks away]
CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY
SAM and TOBY are in the office talking. TOBY is sitting on the couch. SAM is standing in front of him.
SAM
$125,000?
TOBY (loudly)
Could you stop saying that!?
SAM
Sure.
TOBY
How much trouble am I in?
SAM
Well, there's two kinds of trouble here: actual trouble and PR trouble.
TOBY
Talk about actual trouble.
SAM
You're in no actual trouble.
TOBY
Really?
SAM
Absolutely not.
TOBY
Good.
SAM
But I'd hire a lawyer anyway.
TOBY
Why?
SAM
Because technically you've committed a felony punishable by imprisonment and fines reaching into the millions.
TOBY
[gets up to pace] All right, let's move away from actual trouble for a second and let's talk about -
SAM
Perception.
TOBY
Yes.
SAM
Right. Well, you've done nothing wrong, yet the perception of those who would choose to glance only at a snapshot would be embarrassing.
TOBY
Say nothing of damaging to the President.
SAM
[brightly] Indeed.
TOBY
Why are you talking like this?
SAM
Because I can't help but be reminded of a bright and energetic young White House deputy who took no end of admonition and grief because of a woman he was friends with.
TOBY
I totally backed you up on that!
SAM
Which is why I couldn't be happier to help you. It's like being able to do something for my older brother. I'm your guy on this. What's your level of confidence?
TOBY
[glumly] Absolutely none.
SAM
Right. Who else knows about this?
TOBY
Anyone who saw the report.
SAM
Everybody has the report, but you really have to study it to have any sense -
CJ
[comes to the open door] Excuse me, Toby. I was just heading out for lunch and I'm a little short. You wouldn't happen to have $125,000 I could borrow, would you? [dissolves into laughter as she walks away]
SAM
I got your back on this, buddy.
TOBY
I am so ... completely screwed.
CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM – MORNING
CJ is standing at the podium addressing a small number of reporters.
CJ
A $145 Armani cravat, which I'm pretty sure is a necktie. (reporters chuckle) It was a gift from his brother-in-law. He gave it away to the Salvation Army. Information I'm sure the President would prefer his brother-in-law did not have.
More chuckling from the press.
MIKE
CJ, I'm curious about the President's farm in Manchester. The property value increased $750,000. What's that due to?
CJ
Secret Service improvements.
MIKE
Can you go into detail please?
CJ
The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the sun porch.
Laughter. JOSH comes in and stands to the side, waiting for CJ to finish.
CJ
That's all for now, folks. Later this afternoon we'll do Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman. I assure you you’ll wanna save column inches for this one. [joins JOSH and they head out]
JOSH
Thanks for the promo.
CJ
They really can't get enough of you.
HALLWAY. They walk out.
JOSH
I got Katzenmoyer.
CJ
He's back?
JOSH
Along with O'Bannon and LeBrandt.
CJ
You got three!
JOSH
Chris Wick's waiting for me right now. I don't know what his story is, but I'm not that worried.
CJ
You worried about Tillinghouse?
JOSH
I can't get him without the Vice President. Leo's gotta lighten up on that.
CJ and JOSH walk inside the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE where DONNA finds JOSH.
CJ
Get Wick first. And then we'll deal with it. [walks off]
DONNA
Josh.
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
Congressman Wick is waiting in the Mural Room.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
He's been waiting 20 minutes.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
You have a legislative liaison meeting in 15 minutes.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
And then the East Asia briefing.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
All right, well, then this entire conversation served only as a reminder.
JOSH
Actually, it only served as a colossal waste of time and energy. Keep up the good work.
JOSH goes inside THE MURAL ROOM. CONGRESSMAN CHRIS WICK, a very young looking man, and his staff are waiting.
JOSH
Congressman.
WICK
Dude!
The young Congressman shakes JOSH's hand, and then starts to introduce him to staff.
WICK
Uh, John -
JOSH
Right. [to staff] Guys, could you wait outside for a minute, please? The Congressman and I wanna talk about old times.
WICK (to staffers)
Go ahead.
JOSH
[watches as the staff leaves] Thanks. Thanks a lot. Could you close the door please?
[to Wick] Is that supposed to impress me, you have a staff?
WICK
Josh -
JOSH
I told the House Minority Whip he was crazy. No way is Chris Wick jumping the fence. Do you have any idea how stupid this makes me look?
WICK
Uh, look. About that, dude -
JOSH
Shove it, dude. We're not in a frat house anymore.
WICK
What the hell, man?
JOSH
Name for me, please, the weapons banned in this bill and why you feel they should be legal.
WICK
Look, I realize I should have called -
JOSH
Okay, let's start here, name for me, please, the weapons banned in this bill.
WICK
If you'd let me explain -
JOSH
You don't have a clue.
WICK
No. That's not true.
JOSH
MAK-90.
WICK
Listen -
JOSH
The PCR. NFR. Anything ring a bell?
WICK
My aides were supposed to contact -
JOSH
They're both copycats of the AR15 assault rifle that was banned two years ago. It's the exact same gun.
WICK
Calm down -
JOSH
It's back. They just changed the grip. How 'bout the PAT Maxi?
WICK
A semi-automatic muzzle barrel -
JOSH
[yells] It's a grenade launcher!
WICK
Yes, I'm trying to -
JOSH
You know, I realize as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world. And with an issue as hot as gun control I'm prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid. But we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right?
WICK
Josh -
JOSH
I put you in your seat, I got you elected to the House of Representatives.
WICK
Yeah, and now you guys think I'm on the leash. Look, I get taken for granted, Josh. I've one photo op with the President. One. Me and 16 other freshmen. That makes me weak.
JOSH
You're not serious.
WICK
I've been here over a year. Huh, where's the courtship? This isn't ego. A relationship with the White House is currency around here and I need some.
JOSH
You, you're voting down a measure that would restrict the sale of deadly weapons - because nobody invited you to the cool kid's table?
WICK
Got your attention.
JOSH
You know, I'm so sick of Congress I could vomit. [starts to leave but turns back] What do you want?
WICK
Round of golf.
JOSH
President doesn't play golf.
WICK
What does he play?
JOSH
Chess.
WICK
Over brandy. With the White House photographers and we're fine.
JOSH
He's going to kick your ass, you know.
WICK
Whatever. You know, I really don't appreciate you calling me -
JOSH
Chris, you're a Congressman. You gotta make that real. This time it was me in the Mural Room, trust me when I tell you, you do not wanna have this conversation with the guy who works next door. [leaves and sees the staff waiting outside] You guys take care. [walks away]
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. LEO'S OFFICE – DAY
LEO, CJ and MANDY are admiring the gorgeous pearl choker LEO bought for his wife. TOBY is seated, and SAM walks in the door.
MANDY
Wow!
LEO
Wow is right.
CJ
It is so beautiful.
SAM
Excellent choice, my friend.
LEO (to SAM)
Stop looking at me like that. You're talking about Jenny.
SAM
[backpedaling] My point being only that it should flatter her neck in ways that should please you.
CJ
Can I try it on?
LEO
No.
MANDY
Can I rub it against my teeth?
LEO
No.
TOBY
Could we possibly talk about me?
CJ
Are you saying I'm going to stretch it?
JOSH
[comes in] Leo, I got four of five. I'm absolutely convinced we need the Vice President to get Tillinghouse.
CJ
We're all agreed on that.
LEO
No.
JOSH
This needs a Texan.
LEO
I have a different idea.
JOSH
What?
LEO
I go to Richardson.
MANDY
You've already been through this with Richardson.
JOSH
The entire caucus. Let's not get 'em any more pissed off at us than they are already.
LEO
I'll talk to Richardson alone.
JOSH
You have to do it quietly and right now.
LEO
[calls] Margaret!
JOSH
Call me as soon as you got it. [leaves]
MARGARET
[enters] Yes, sir?
LEO
I need to see Mark Richardson out of the office.
MARGARET leaves.
SAM
You know, Toby, you could afford to buy one of those now if you want.
TOBY (beat)
There's literally no one in the world that I don't hate right now.
Everyone chuckles except for TOBY.
CUT TO: EXT. THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL – DAY
CONGRESSMAN MARK RICHARDSON, an imposing African American, is walking with LEO near the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
RICHARDSON
Well, let me guess. Josh got Katzenmoyer and the rest of ‘em back in the boat. You came to me instead of Tillinghouse because you don't wanna use Hoynes.
LEO
We need this one, Mark.
RICHARDSON
I'm voting no, Leo.
LEO
Mark, it's all we could get right now and you know it.
RICHARDSON
You didn't work hard enough.
LEO
We did.
RICHARDSON
What happened to the TEC DC-9 and the TEC-22? What happened to the Striker-12 and the Street Sweeper?
LEO
We had to lose 'em.
RICHARDSON
You never fought for 'em.
LEO
We have to do this inch by inch. You know how this works.
RICHARDSON
No - I know how you guys work.
LEO
That is out of line, Congressman. Guns are number one on my list of priorities and I've never moved the President off of that.
RICHARDSON
Keeping the White House strong is number one on your list of priorities.
LEO
If the White House isn't strong, it doesn't really matter what number two on my list is. God, Mark. The bodies being wheeled into the emergency rooms are Black. These guns aren't going to Scottsdale, Mark, they're going to Detroit, they're going to Philadelphia. An entire generation of African American men are being eaten alive by drugs and poverty.
RICHARDSON
Well - I'm encouraged to hear the White House has discovered there's a drug problem in this country. I mean, your penetrating insight is matched only by the courage displayed in the authorship of this bill.
LEO
Oh, Mark, for God’s sake -
RICHARDSON
Not the three-inch grip, but the two-inch grip. With the 40-gauge barrel and the 30-round clip, not the 20-round clip. With a three-day wait to run a check to see if you're crazy. As if wanting the gun wasn't a pretty good heads up in the first place. No, this is for show. And I think it's an unconscionable waste of the taxpayer's money to have it printed, signed and photocopied, to say nothing of enforced. No, I want the guns, Leo. You write a law that can save some lives, I'll sign it. In the meantime, please don't tell me how to be a leader of Black men. You look like an idiot. [walks away leaving LEO looking stunned]
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE – DAY
MANDY is reading the financial disclosures. JOSH is standing behind his desk.
MANDY
Someone gave you a year's supply of fruit?
JOSH
Yes.
MANDY
Why?
JOSH
There are people who like me.
MANDY
Why?
DONNA
[pokes her head in] It's Leo.
JOSH
[picks up the phone] What happened? [listens, then groans]
MANDY
That's it, he needs to talk to Hoynes. We'll set up a meeting.
JOSH
Yeah, Leo. We're going to set up a meeting for you with the Vice President. [listens] Good. (hangs up)
CUT TO: EXT. LEO'S HOUSE – NIGHT
LEO's car pulls up to his house. There is a taxi waiting in front of the door. LEO looks at it askance as he walks by it to enter.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
LEO comes in, the bouquet of flowers wilting on the table. JENNY's bags are sitting by the door. LEO walks over to the dining room and sees the dinner he ordered untouched on the table.
LEO
Jenny?
JENNY
[walks into the room wearing the choker] I'm still here.
LEO
What's going on?
JENNY (sighs)
Leo -
LEO
What's going on?
JENNY
Honey, I'm so sorry you went to all this trouble.
LEO
It wasn't any trouble.
JENNY
[sighs] I can't do this anymore. This is crazy. I don't want to live like this. I just can't.
LEO
I'm sorry about the anniversary. I just want -
JENNY
It's not the anniversary. It's everything. It's the whole - thing.
LEO (beat)
This is the most important thing I'll ever do, Jenny. I have to do it well.
JENNY
It's not more important than your marriage.
LEO
[beat; then emphatically] It is more important than my marriage right now. (JENNY, frustrated, turns away and puts on her jacket) These few years, while I'm doing this, yes, it's more important than my marriage. I, I didn't decide to do this myself, Jenny, there were many discussions -
JENNY
I think you can find the time to -
LEO
I'm five votes down, Jenny! And I need to win. I met with the staff -
JENNY
You made the time.
LEO
I made the time tonight.
JENNY
You didn't make the time tonight.
LEO
I hired a whole -
JENNY
Margaret phoned to confirm your 9:00 meeting with the Vice President.
LEO
[beat] I was gonna slip out for 45 minutes -
JENNY
Leo -
LEO (cont.)
- I was gonna be right back.
JENNY
I can't. Really.
LEO (pause)
I don't suppose we could postpone this discussion until, it's just the past couple of days -
JENNY
I have to go now.
LEO (pause; quietly)
Okay.
JENNY (at the door, putting on her coat)
I'll, uh - I’ll be at the Watergate.
LEO
Okay.
JENNY
And I'll – (sighs) talk to you later.
LEO
[with a catch in his throat] You'll call me?
JENNY
Yeah. [starts to pick up bags]
LEO
You, you want me to carry that to the cab?
JENNY (giving LEO a look)
It's okay. [opens door]
LEO
[emotionally] Call me before you go to sleep.
JENNY (in the doorway)
Okay.
JENNY exhales, shakes her head subtly, and shuts the door behind her, leaving LEO looking devastated.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. THE VICE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE – NIGHT
HOYNES is sitting in his office reading a newspaper. His secretary, JANEANE, comes to the door.
JANEANE
Excuse me, sir, Leo McGarry's here.
HOYNES
Send him in. [gets up and greets LEO as he walks in]
LEO
Good evening, Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES (shaking hands)
Come on in. Thanks, Janeane.
LEO (to JEANANE)
Thanks.
JEANANE leaves.
HOYNES
What did you need to see me about?
LEO
Um, I came in to talk to you about 802. We lost five votes.
HOYNES
I know.
LEO
We got four of ‘em back, but, uh, I was stupid with Richardson. And now it's Tillinghouse, so I came in to talk to you about that and, uh -
HOYNES
Leo, are you feeling okay? Sit down. Come on. Sit down. [They both sit.]
LEO
Jenny and I are splitting up, and it just happened and I'm feeling a little, um...
HOYNES
[calls] Janeane!
JEANANE appears at the door.
LEO
If I could just have a glass of water.
HOYNES
Janeane, can you, you get me a glass of ice water, please. [to LEO] Leo, it's gonna be fine. These things happen.
LEO
Yeah.
HOYNES
Uh … I mean, do you, you wanna talk about it - at all?
LEO shakes his head as JEANANE returns with the ice water.
LEO
Thank you. [takes a large drink] Anyway...
HOYNES
I'll see Tillinghouse.
LEO
[surprised] Yeah?
HOYNES
I'll see him tomorrow morning.
LEO
You'll deliver him?
HOYNES
It's a done deal.
LEO
I don't need to tell you we need this win.
HOYNES
I think we're home.
LEO
Thanks, John. I want you to know the President and I appreciate it. [starts to leave]
HOYNES
Leo. Do you mind if I ask you a question?
LEO
What?
HOYNES
When was the last time you went to a meeting?
LEO
AA? (HOYNES nods) What meeting could I possibly go to?
HOYNES
Mine.
LEO
John, tell me you are not showing your face at -
HOYNES
Leo, I have got my own meeting. Every week. The downstairs office here at the OEOB at 11 PM. There are nine of us - three Senators, two Cabinet secretaries, one federal judge, and two agency directors. There's an agent outside, the whole thing looks like a card game.
LEO
Do you have enemies in that room?
HOYNES
All our people.
LEO
I had no idea.
HOYNES
Neither will anyone else. You should think about it.
LEO nods and gets up to leave.
HOYNES
Now, are you driving?
LEO
Ah, no, I've got my guy.
HOYNES (as they head for the door)
Good, good. Have a good evening. I'm sorry about Jenny.
LEO
Call me after Tillinghouse.
HOYNES
It's in the bag.
LEO
Good night, John.
HOYNES
Good night, Leo.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY – DAY
WEDNESDAY
JOSH opens his office door, finding MANDY is waiting in ambush.
MANDY
Hi, there.
JOSH
How you doing?
They both start off for JOSH’s bullpen.
MANDY
Sarah Wissinger?
JOSH
Yes. A smoking jacket and a cigarette holder. Both declared items. I am clean as a whistle.
MANDY
You received these gifts on July 3rd.
JOSH
I'm sensing trouble, but I can't quite -
MANDY
You and I didn't break up until July 9th.
JOSH
Ah, there it was, right in front of my face.
They continue walking, heading for the Oval Office.
MANDY
She was giving you presents on July 3rd?
JOSH
You knew I knew Sarah.
MANDY
I didn't know she was giving you presents.
JOSH
They weren't by way of saying 'Thanks for sleeping with me' if that's what you mean.
MANDY
[walks ahead of him into Oval Office] Don't talk to me.
MANDY and JOSH enter THE OVAL OFFICE, where TOBY, SAM, and CJ are waiting.
JOSH
Hey.
TOBY
What's going on?
JOSH
Hoynes is having breakfast with Tillinghouse.
MANDY
Sarah Wissin-slut gave him the jacket on July 3rd.
JOSH
I really thought a nice by-product of not going out with you anymore would be that you wouldn't yell at me anymore.
MANDY
That was a bit unrealistic, wasn't it?
JOSH
Where's the President?
TOBY
Haven't seen him.
LEO comes in from his office. Everyone turns to look at him.
CJ
Leo, how'd it go?
LEO
What do you mean?
JOSH
Last night.
LEO
[realizes what they're talking about and puts on a good face] Oh, ah, great.
CJ
She liked the choker?
LEO
Yeah.
JOSH
And the violinist?
LEO
Uh, you-you're right, after a couple of minutes it's strange having him there. But, uh, you know, um... [faking smile] She ate it up, so...
They all congratulate him. Then a pause.
TOBY
Where's the President?
LEO
His back is pretty bad today. He canceled the morning. He'll stay in bed and make some calls. We should move this to my -
LEO stops as we hear a knock from the portico outside. BARTLET opens the door and walks in, a bit unsteadily. He's wearing jeans and a Notre Dame sweatshirt and is looking slightly woozy.
BARTLET
Hey!
LEO
Mr. President. I thought you were staying in bed.
BARTLET
Oh, I feel fine.
LEO
Uh, maybe you should get back to the residence.
BARTLET (beat)
Hmm?
LEO
I said, maybe you should get back to the residence. Maybe you should lie down.
BARTLET
Absolutely no need. I'm fine. What's going on here?
SAM
Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Mr. President. Merely a perception issue regarding Toby and the financial disclosure.
BARTLET
I like to... [mimes rolling sleeves] Roll up my sleeves and you know... [pause, everyone else staring] ...get involved.
CJ
Mr. President, did you by any chance take your back pills?
BARTLET
Well, I don't mind telling you, CJ, I was in a little pain there.
LEO
Which did you take, sir, the Vicodin or the Percocet?
BARTLET (beat)
I wasn't supposed to take 'em both?
CJ
Okay. Mr. President, we're going to have someone take you back to bed.
BARTLET
No no no. Sit sit sit. One of you's got a problem, I'm here to help. (everyone sits, BARTLET squeezes between SAM and TOBY) You guys are like family. You've always been there for me, always been loyal. Honest, hard working, good people, and I love you all very much and I don't say that often enough. So tell me what the problem is, Toby. [puts his hand on SAM's knee]
SAM
[surprised] Uh, I'm Sam, sir.
BARTLET
Sam, of course you are.
He puts his arm around SAM as they all watch incredulously.
TOBY
Sir. (clears throat) Sir - uh, the situation basically is this. I arranged for a friend to testify to Commerce on Internet stocks while simultaneously, but unrelated to that, bought a technology issue which, partly due to my friend's testimony, shot through the roof.
BARTLET (pause)
Toby. [pause] Toby, Toby, Toby. [pause] Toby's a nice name, don't you think?
TOBY
[to LEO] Could we possibly do this meeting at another time?
LEO starts to get up.
BARTLET
No, no, no, no. Please, Leo. I know my body. I mean, you know, I know my muscles are not, you know, but my mind is sharp. I can focus. I'm focused. You all know that about me. Here's what I think we ought to do... [long pause; then to SAM] Was I just saying something?
LEO
[stands and calls] Mrs. Landingham!
MANDY
Look, I think we need to run through some options.
MRS. LANDINGHAM
[comes in] Yes, sir?
JOSH
Get Charlie.
MANDY
Let's start at the bottom.
SAM
What do you mean?
MANDY
There's always resignation.
BARTLET
Hot damn! Now you're talking.
TOBY
I think she meant me, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Ah.
LEO
Well, of course Toby's not gonna resign. I think we're making more of this than we -
SAM
I got it!
TOBY
I've got a lawyer from the White House Counsel's office -
SAM
Got it!
MANDY
What?
SAM
Counsel's office releases a statement through CJ. Using the strongest possible language we make it very clear that there's been no wrongdoing of any kind.
TOBY
Yes.
SAM
But to avoid even the appearance of impropriety, Toby has agreed to reduce his salary for one year to one dollar, and immediately cash out his stock issue thereby relieving the taxpayer of the burden.
TOBY looks shocked.
BARTLET
Done.
TOBY
Wait.
LEO
Good, Sam.
SAM
Thank you.
TOBY
No, it’s, it's not good, actually, it stinks.
BARTLET
Toby, you're a great writer, do you know that?
TOBY
Well, thank you very much, sir.
BARTLET
Here, give me a hug.
TOBY
[looks pained] Leo!
BARTLET
Come on, give us a hug. [hugs TOBY] There you go.
CHARLIE
[walks in] Excuse me, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Charlie!
CHARLIE
Mr. President, I left you alone for two minutes.
BARTLET
Charlie's a great name.
CHARLIE
Thank you. Sir, you have to go back to bed.
BARTLET
I'm going. I'm going, I’m going. [gets up] Before I go, please let me just say this. [sighs] I'm seriously thinking about getting a dog.
LEO
Well, feel better, Mr. President.
CHARLIE leads BARTLET out as everyone grins after them.
BARTLET
Maybe an Irish setter, Charlie. What do you think?
CHARLIE
I think that's great, sir.
SAM
[to TOBY] So, how do you feel there, big guy?
TOBY
[dryly] Like I just got screwed with my pants on.
SAM
Excellent.
CUT TO: INT. THE VICE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE – DAY
HOYNES is having breakfast with CONGRESSMAN TILLINGHOUSE.
TILLINGHOUSE
Honest to goodness, John, this isn't a political maneuver.
HOYNES
I know.
TILLINGHOUSE
I'm votin’ my conscience.
HOYNES
I know.
TILLINGHOUSE
You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Two hundred and forty million guns out there. How're you gonna get them back?
HOYNES
You can't.
TILLINGHOUSE
Of course not. Well, as long as they got a gun, I want my wife to have a gun, I want my daughter to have a gun, and damn it, I want one, too.
HOYNES
Makes perfect sense.
TILLINGHOUSE
You might wanna mention to Josh Lyman that Congressmen don't appreciate being bullied like ill-behaved school children.
HOYNES
Yes.
TILLINGHOUSE
Katzenmoyer, O'Bannon, LeBrandt, this, uh, new kid, uh, Christopher Wick. These are grown men, with pride and dignity. They can't be manhandled.
HOYNES
They're pretty pissed, are they?
TILLINGHOUSE
Behind closed doors they're screamin’ bloody murder, and are talkin’ about political
retribution.
HOYNES
I don't blame 'em.
TILLINGHOUSE
Reality - is reality.
HOYNES
Yes. Which is why I'd like very much for you to do the following, Cal. I want you to vote yes on the resolution.
TILLINGHOUSE
[surprised] John?
HOYNES
And you might want to mention this conversation to Representatives Katzenmoyer, O'Bannon, LeBrandt, and Wick.
TILLINGHOUSE
[smiles] Why, John - you do seize the moment, don't you?
HOYNES
You've got a roll call.
TILLINGHOUSE
Tell me something. What's in it for me?
HOYNES
Right now?
TILLINGHOUSE
Yeah.
HOYNES
Nothing.
TILLINGHOUSE
Then why am I handing you a personal political victory?
HOYNES
Because I'm gonna be President of the United States one day, and you're not.
TILLINGHOUSE smiles as he sips his coffee.
CUT TO: EXT. WASHINGTON, DC – NIGHT
We see a night view of Washington, DC, while various news reports are heard.
REPORTER 1 [VO]
The restrictions, while not considered sweeping, do include the Mini-9 and the Rutger-14. Again, White House senior aides had hoped that this would serve as a much-needed victory for the President, but it's the Vice President who seems to be receiving most of the credit from some Congressional Democrats -
REPORTER 2 [VO]
- were quick to praise Vice President John Hoynes for stepping in and securing the one-vote victory -
REPORTER 3 [VO]
- Mark Richardson, leader of the Congressional Black Caucus, a man, I should add, who's seldom at a loss for words, had no comment tonight. None. You have to ask yourself, is this an intentional snub to his old friend, Jed Bartlet?
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
LEO, TOBY, JOSH, CJ, SAM, MANDY and DONNA are watching the telecasts.
MANDY
Unbelievable.
SAM
I don't believe it.
MANDY
You loosen the ketchup bottle and he pops the top off.
SAM
And keeps the ketchup.
CJ
Sorry, Leo. You saw this one coming through the Holland Tunnel.
LEO
We got what we deserved. It was hubris and we got what we deserved. [gets up to leave] Night, everyone.
Everyone says good night. LEO walks away, but turns back to JOSH, who's not looking happy.
LEO
Listen. We won. [leaves]
TOBY
Where's the President?
CJ
He's asleep.
TOBY
Wake him up.
JOSH leaves.
CJ
Toby.
TOBY
Wake him now.
CJ
Let's leave it till tomorrow, Toby. (contemplating a Magic 8 Ball) Let's leave it till tomorrow.
CUT TO: INT. THE VICE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE – NIGHT
HOYNES is sitting at his desk. We see a TV news report in the background. JEANANE comes to the door.
TV ANCHOR (on TV)
- Democrats on the Hill got their noses bent out of joint by -
JANEANE
Sir - uh, Josh Lyman is here. He was wondering if he could see you a moment.
HOYNES
Sure.
JOSH
[walks in] Evening, Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
Josh. (standing, shaking hands) Nice victory.
JOSH
Are you talking about the bill or are you talking about my smoking jacket?
HOYNES
[laughs] I heard about that. (sitting) No, I was talking about the bill.
JOSH
It's a crappy law.
HOYNES
Nah.
JOSH
No, it is. I should know. I helped write it.
HOYNES
You did very well.
JOSH
I'd say it's roughly the equivalent of fighting the war against tobacco by banning certain color matchbook covers.
HOYNES
[laughs] Well, these things happen slowly.
JOSH
I'd say you did well, sir. In fact, you might be the only one who did. I just came by to say congratulations.
JANEANE
[comes to the door] Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
Right, Janeane. I'm on my way. [gets up and puts on coat] Josh.
JOSH
Yes, sir?
HOYNES
[walks to Josh and pats him on the shoulder] Welcome to the NFL.
JOSH watches him leave.
CUT TO: INT. OLD EXECUTIVE OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT
LEO walks down a flight of stairs into a basement hallway of the OEOB. There is a Secret Service AGENT standing by the door.
AGENT
Something I could help you with, Mr. McGarry?
LEO
[looks apprehensive] Yeah, I'm here for the, card game.
The AGENT nods and opens the door.
LEO
Thank you.
LEO walks into the room, looks around nervously, and closes the door behind him.
FADE OUT.
THE END
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Episode 1x4 -- 'Five Votes Down'
Original Airdate: October 13, 1999, 9:00 EST
Transcript By: Cindy Dechief
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