WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: A Good Day (S6E17)

THE WEST WING
6x17 - “A GOOD DAY”
WRITTEN BY CAROL FLINT
DIRECTED BY RICHARD SCHIFF

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

FADE IN: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – DAY

MARGARET is sitting at her desk, her lunch cooler next to her. She is putting some salt on an apple she is eating. As the camera slowly turns around her desk, we see there is a man sitting there waiting. This is DR. YOSH TAKAHASHI.

MARGARET
Are you sure I can’t get you anything?

TAKAHASHI
No, thank you.

ANNABETH and CLIFF CALLEY walk up to MARGARET’s desk, talking amongst themselves.

ANNABETH
I’m just saying, he needs a quiet news cycle.

CLIFF
Oh, and it’s my job to ensure that?

ANNABETH
Pretty much. (to MARGARET, gesturing to the door of CJ’s office) Is she … ?

MARGARET
Go on in.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY

CJ is talking with ANNABETH and CLIFF.

CJ
Is the President ready for his press conference tomorrow?

ANNABETH
Unless Congress cooks up more recipes for lame duck.

CLIFF
Sorry about last week’s veto override.

CJ
I’m more worried about this latest stunt.

ANNABETH
Yeah, today’s vote on stem cell funding. Where did that come from?

CLIFF
Apparently, the Speaker wasn’t thrilled we found $55 million in the HHS budget last month for stem cell research.

CJ
Haffley’s introducing legislation that would de-fund our whole program.

CLIFF
‘Embyronic’ is their favorite fighting word.

ANNABETH
Isn’t this funding limited to genetic material that is being thrown away?

CLIFF
Yeah, which is why we have enough Republicans to make it close. A dozen votes could make the difference.

CJ
Guess the Speaker saw an opening with so many Democrats out campaigning.

CLIFF
I’m on it, been making calls all morning. Twenty Democrats are flying back for the vote, most have already landed, in fact I should be -

CJ
Go. The President doesn’t need any more bad news in the next 18 hours.

CLIFF and ANNABETH hurry out of CJ’s office. CJ follows, calling down the hall after them.

CJ
He needs a good day.

CLIFF
Count on it.

TOBY comes around the corner as CLIFF and ANNABETH depart.

TOBY
Sorry, did I miss it?

CJ
Got his marching orders.

TOBY
Been one of those days.

CJ
About tonight … ?

TOBY
Nobel Laureates dinner. Brought my tux.

CJ
And dancing shoes? Latin jazz on tap.

TOBY
For those of us who are seated with the organometallic chemists, and have run out of small talk by the soup course.

CJ
I’m afraid you’ll miss the soup.

TOBY
Why’s that?

CJ
Future Leaders for Democracy.

TOBY
Near future, distant future - ?

CJ
Middle. Middle schoolers, in fact.

TOBY
No, no, not that! My, th-, I, I’m wall to wall today.

CJ
These kids are great. They won a commendation for some internet voting thing. Give them ten minutes.

CJ turns and walks away from TOBY.

TOBY
Ten minutes is how my whole day’s been divvied up. There’s a plot to ensure I never get to anything of substance! I’m -

CJ
They were bumped off the President’s schedule yesterday, bumped from mine this morning, they’re on yours for 6 o’clock.

TOBY
Why?

CJ
It’s their last day in town.

TOBY
No, I meant why me?

CJ
‘Cause you’re so good with kids.

CJ walks away, leaving TOBY speechless.

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – DAY

MATT SANTOS and JOSH, along with several other Congresspeople, hustle inside the Capitol, where they are greeted by CLIFF.

CLIFF
Congressman Santos.

MATT
Did I miss it?

CLIFF (leading them toward the House chamber)
Doing the rule right now.

JOSH (as MATT takes off his overcoat and hands it to him)
Sorry to, cut it so close. Traffic from Dulles.

CLIFF
Appreciate you interrupting the campaign.

MATT
For stem cell? This one matters.

CLIFF
Mm-hmm.

As MATT and some other staffers turn the corner toward the House chambers, a voice is heard in the hall.

MAN (VO)
One more vote! One vote arriving.

JOSH (left behind with CLIFF in the hall)
Saw the news crews, if you want a comment after -

CLIFF
Congrats on Arizona and New Mexico.

JOSH
Yeah, keeps us alive. Super Tuesday’s a real gauntlet.

CLIFF
Well, we appreciate this detour. And you calling back so many others out stumping for your guy.

JOSH
Three months of primary potshots – it’s a relief to see the Democrats pulling on the same oar, working together to protect …

JOSH trails off as WILL and DONNA walk up the hallway.

JOSH
Hey.

DONNA
Hi.

JOSH
Thought you were in Atlanta.

WILL
White House asked the Vice President to pitch in.

DONNA
Important one for the President.

JOSH
Vice President can’t vote.

WILL
But as a former House member, he retains lifetime floor privileges.

JOSH
He’s in there now?

DONNA
Whipping support for the President.

WILL
As only a Vice President can do.

JOSH
No stone unturned.

WILL
He’s wheels up in an hour, but he’ll take questions on his way out.

CLIFF
You arranged the press?

DONNA
We did.

JOSH
That’s a nice touch – unless we don’t win this, gotta sneak him out the back.

DONNA
We have the votes.

JOSH
Naw, it’d be great, it’s why we’re all here, a win for the President.

CLIFF (seeing MATT and others coming back from the House chamber)
Or … not.

MATT (walking up to JOSH)
Son of a bitch.

JOSH
What happened?

MATT (grabbing his overcoat)
Nothing to do with democracy. Oh, we can hit the road.

CLIFF
Why?

MATT
The Speaker saw just how many Democrats were back in town, did the math, pulled the vote.

CLIFF
He pulled the vote.

MATT
Game over. We’ve been had.

MATT walks away as JOSH and CLIFF exchange looks.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – DAY

MARGARET and TAKAHASHI are still sitting at her desk.

MARGARET
Can I get you some tea?

TAKAHASHI
Oh, no, thank you.

MARGARET
I make a mean cup of ocha.

TAKAHASHI (trying to get up)
Perhaps I could proceed on my own.

MARGARET
She won’t be much longer. (beat) She’ll want the honor of escorting you herself.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

As CJ enters from her office door, we hear an orchestral version of Begin the Beguine, and BARTLET and ABBEY are dancing and laughing together.

ABBEY (laughing)
Jed … 

BARTLET (singing)
We have not begunnn … the beguine …

CJ
I can come back.

ABBEY
No, no. Stay, stay. Jed – you have to use the cane.

BARTLET
Doc said I didn’t have to use it at home, right, CJ?

CJ
I’m guessing he meant the residence, sir, not the entire White House.

BARTLET
My home, where I’m having a party tonight with dancing, you ready to cut a rug?

CJ (as BARTLET starts to dance with her)
I’m the product of a ballroom class short on boys, tall girls had to lead.

BARTLET
Look how well it served you.

CJ (chuckling)
You’re in rare form today, sir.

ABBEY
He certainly is.

CJ
The Speaker withdrew his bill attacking stem cell research.

BARTLET
More good news.

CJ
They’ll reschedule as soon as our guys leave town.

BARTLET
And that could be as soon as when?

CJ
Tomorrow in the middle of your press conference.

BARTLET (hugging ABBEY)
Still, something can be said for MS – good days you don’t take for granted.

CJ
About tonight, sir?

BARTLET
Nobel Laureates, some of my favorite people.

CJ
I wanted to ask you about Yosh Takahashi.

BARTLET reacts to that name.

CJ
I assumed you weren’t close. I mean, I know he’s the economist you shared the Nobel with -

BARTLET
Not shared. Split. 

CJ
Correct -

BARTLET
Ours was not a shared prize for shared work. The prize was split. That year, the Swedes chose to recognize two separate, some would say, fundamentally divergent, even contradictory efforts in the same field.

CJ
He is a bit conservative.

BARTLET (putting on his suit jacket)
Ha! He makes Milton Friedman look middle-of-the-road.

ABBEY
Well, thank God he’s half a globe away and not on the guest list, so we don’t have to think about him tonight.

CJ (laughing uncomfortably)
That’s the thing …

BARTLET
Be gentle. I’m not a well man.

CJ
Dr. Takahashi was invited.

ABBEY
He’s flying in from Kyoto?

CJ
He’s a visiting scholar at the University of Chicago this quarter.

BARTLET
He’s crashing my party?

CJ
He’s here now – waiting to pay his respects.

BARTLET glares.

CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN – DAY

As TOBY strides through the bullpen ANNABETH comes out of her office.

ANNABETH (following TOBY into his office)
I got the message about babysitting your student group.

TOBY
Can’t stop, running late.

ANNABETH
Are you sure I’m the right fit?

TOBY
You’re perfect. I’ll stop in at the end to say hello.

ANNABETH (as TOBY exits his office)
But I’ve gotta review tapes of the President for tomorrow’s press conference.

TOBY
Why? You already said the President’s a natural, why mess with perfection?

ANNABETH
I did?

TOBY (walking away, leaving ANNABETH standing in the hall)
Sounds like your schedule’s clear.

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – DAY

CLIFF is walking with a CONGRESSWOMAN and a CONGRESSMAN, trying to convince them to stay for a rescheduled vote. They both walk around the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN sitting on a bench in the middle of the hall.

CLIFF
Look, stay one more day, Haffley will reschedule this.

CONGRESSWOMAN
Not if we’re here. The Speaker can delay calling a vote for as long as he wants.

CONGRESSMAN
Super Tuesday is coming and I’m in a tight race.

CLIFF
Yeah, so are plenty of Republicans. Look, give me another day.

CONGRESSMAN
Would if I could, but that dog won’t hunt.

CLIFF (as the Representatives head down the stairs to leave)
Well, keep your phones on, don’t board any flights without talking to me first.

CONGRESSWOMAN (as she leaves)
Ta-ta!

CLIFF turns from the stairwell and nearly collides with SPEAKER HAFFLEY coming down another staircase.

HAFFLEY
Nice try.

CLIFF (as they both head down the hall)
Mr. Speaker.

HAFFLEY
So, uh … Leg Affairs tougher than lobbying or just different?

CLIFF
You are dead meat.

HAFFLEY
Yeah, it’s a good sign that in Year Seven the President can still rally the troops.

CLIFF
This won’t affect my serve, you know, I’m gonna slaughter you tomorrow, straight games.

HAFFLEY (walking away)
Save it for the court, dude.

CLIFF sighs and sits on the bench. He turns to the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN already sitting there.

CLIFF
Congressman – tell me you’re not leaving town.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (chuckling)
I never leave town.

CLIFF
And you have the President’s gratitude for your committed service.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
To be honest – I have some doubts about funding stem cell research.

CLIFF (defeated)
Of course you do.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE – DAY

DONNA is in the office on the phone. CLIFF comes in.

DONNA (on phone)
Mm-hmm. (beat) Yeah – I’m gonna miss those little peach things. (beat) Bring some to Cleveland for me. (beat) Bye.

As DONNA hangs up, in the adjoining room CLIFF gets his coat and puts papers in his briefcase.

DONNA
Sorry about the vote. Strike one for stem cells?

CLIFF
Nah – sometimes things are going so smoothly, you don’t see it coming until they fall apart.

DONNA
True.

DONNA turns and walks away, sitting on a sofa. CLIFF follows.

CLIFF
You look changed … in a good way.

DONNA (pause)
Congratulations on the job.

CLIFF
May not be mine after today. But, you – onward and upward with Bingo Bob.

DONNA
Vice President would have stayed if he thought it would still help.

CLIFF
Oh – thank him for the use of his office.

DONNA
Are you kidding? If Leg Affairs didn’t have this office, where would you camp out on the Hill?

CLIFF
I guess Josh worked out of here a lot.

DONNA (sighs)
Back in the day.

CLIFF
We need to have dinner sometime … so you can catch me up.

DONNA (beat)
I’ll be back after Super Tuesday.

CLIFF
Good luck on it.

DONNA smiles after CLIFF as he leaves.

CUT TO: INT. - SITUATION ROOM – DAY

A MAJOR ANDERSON is giving a briefing on a situation in Congo, standing at the front of the room with a map. Military officers and KATE are around the table.

ANDERSON
The Kohassa rebels continue to arm conscripts from refugee camps along the Angola border. Under this contingency, we would mobilize near Lwebo, where intel reports stocks of munitions and RPGs.

KATE
But we’re advocating wait and see. (ANDERSON nods) Then we’re done for now.

As everyone starts to stand and gather their notes, a man in the back of the room speaks.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Uh, unless you want an update on the Canada situation.

KATE
Uh, right … Canada. Go on.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
As you know, tensions along the 49th parallel have been growing.

KATE
What’s their beef?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Ah – good one. Yes, our ban on live Canadian cattle exports is a catalyst, but I wouldn’t reduce this to a simple mad-cow conflict.

KATE
I’ll avoid that.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Hostilities escalated dramatically at the start of the spring snow goose hunting season. Certain Canadian ranchers posted ‘No Trespass’ signs on wooded property -

KATE
Canadian property?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Yes. But where their Montana neighbors had hunted quarry for generations.

KATE
Are you from Interior?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Fish and Wildlife, ma’am. While an American party was setting out decoys for the Great Snowy Honker this morning, Canadians surrounded them and pinned them down. It’s unclear whether the Americans are under siege or have been taken hostage.

ANDERSON (taking notice)
Hostage?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Well, that’s affirm.

KATE
And local law enforcement can’t … ?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Before Canadian officials could respond, one of the hunters – a retired Montana state trooper – called in backup on his cell. Off-duty officers responded to the scene, and they infiltrated the 20-yard swath demarking the border.

ANDERSON (standing now)
Have shots been fired?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Yes. But … there were geese in the air at the time.

KATE (turning to ANDERSON)
Do we even have a map of Canada?

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

CJ is escorting TAKAHASHI into the Oval Office, where he is greeted by BARTLET and ABBEY.

BARTLET (as TAKAHASHI bows)
Dr. Takahashi.

TAKAHASHI
Mr. President. Dr. Bartlet.

ABBEY (as they shake hands)
What a lovely surprise.

TAKAHASHI
Thank you for allowing me to say hello.

There is an uneasy silence as they all look at each other.

BARTLET (finally)
I regret that I’m so busy today.

ABBEY
But for an old friend – (to CJ) These two met in grad school.

TAKAHASHI
And we competed even then.

BARTLET (as everyone chuckles)
A fellowship you won, as I recall.

TAKAHASHI
I was always the bookworm … he was the politician.

BARTLET
I wasn’t. A tenure track was all I aspired to back then.

TAKAHASHI
But his economics betrayed his true calling.

CJ
How so?

TAKAHASHI
President of the welfare state – the footnote to explain his theory.

BARTLET (uneasily)
Well, we’ll have an opportunity for more of this at dinner.

TAKAHASHI (pointedly)
That, sir, would be a rational expectation.

ABBEY (to TAKAHASHI)
They’re setting tea in the other room. Would you join me?

TAKAHASHI bows and follows ABBEY out. BARTLET is a bit miffed.

CJ
Well, he’s certainly a -

BARTLET
Smug son of a bitch. ‘Rational expectation.’

CJ
What?

BARTLET
Territory he claims to have pioneered. ‘Footnote’ my ass.

CJ
I don’t think he was saying -

BARTLET
As if his work would still be read if he hadn’t spent a lifetime assigning it to hapless undergrads.

CJ
All due respect, sir, you sit in this office, you’re pretty much not allowed to harbor professional jealousies.

BARTLET (looking away, still miffed)
He started it.

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – DAY

CLIFF comes out of RUSSELL’s offices. He sees MATT down the hallway, who gives him a little signal. They walk down separate staircases and meet on a landing.

CLIFF
Congressman – you’re still here.

MATT
I got held up.

CLIFF
I know you’ve got that fundraiser tonight in Hartford -

MATT
Yeah, I’m on my way now.

CLIFF (as MATT looks around for eavesdroppers)
Isn’t there any chance -

MATT (quietly)
Okay. Look unhappy. (CLIFF does) You see how I’m, uh, shaking my head telling you, uh, ‘no way’?

CLIFF
I do. Are you in fact telling me the opposite?

MATT
I’m not sure yet. Don’t smile.

CLIFF
Is it too much if I slump?

MATT (eyebrows raised)
Careful. (CLIFF nods) So, uh … where can we talk?

CLIFF
My office, half an hour?

MATT (louder now, checking his watch)
Look, I’m, uh, I’m sorry, I’m, I’m really sorry.

MATT heads out the door as CLIFF walks away in the other direction.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - WHITE HOUSE STAIRWELL – DAY

KATE is heading down the stairs toward the Situation Room. WILL is walking next to her.

WILL
I hear you’re point man on the Saskatchewan incursion?

KATE
You sure you have the clearance to discuss this?

WILL
Vice President’s on his way to Atlanta, but he wanted me to weigh in, he has an interest in the situation.

KATE
Please, tell me this is a ruse concocted to steal moments of my promising company.

WILL
The Vice President has an interest in the situation.

KATE
He’s a snow-gooser.

WILL
More a stalker of the black bear. Owns a hunting cabin north of Chinook.

KATE
Ah -

WILL
Hunts with the governor of Montana, in fact. They spoke today.

KATE
And he’d like to see this resolved bloodlessly.

WILL
Actually, he’s more concerned we not back down, that we not appear weak in any way.

KATE
We?

WILL
The United States.

KATE
There’s no ‘we’ in this. It’s fifteen drunks in camo vests.

WILL
The Vice President advocates a hard line.

KATE
Permanent lockout in the NHL? Maple syrup embargo? Turn off Niagara Falls?

KATE enters the Situation Room. WILL turns and leaves.

CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN – DAY

ANNABETH is leading the Future Leaders of Democracy middle school group into the bullpen.

ANNABETH
I know you’re disappointed … 

ELISHA
We understand that the President has other priorities.

CODY
We were cool with Ms. Cregg as backup – even Mr. Ziegler made sense.

ANNABETH
But getting bumped to Deputy Press Secretary in charge of hairstyles - kind of sucks?

ELISHA
I, I’m sure you, you’re great at what you do -

CODY
If we were a media club, we wouldn’t be lodging this protest.

ELISHA
We’re not lodging a protest - Cody.

CODY
We’re a political group.

TOBY appears in the doorway behind CODY.

CODY
Did you even read our materials?

TOBY turns and disappears.

ANNABETH
As a matter of fact, I did.

CODY
Then you know a glorified field trip is a waste of our time.

ANNABETH
Let’s talk about it on our way to the East Room.

ELISHA flashes a look at CODY as ANNABETH leads the group away.

CUT TO: INT. - CLIFF’S OFFICE – DAY

CLIFF comes down the hallway and opens the door – finding JOSH standing there behind his desk, in what was JOSH’s previous office. CLIFF, taken aback, closes the door.

CLIFF
Josh -

JOSH
I love what you’ve done with the place.

CLIFF
I expected the Congressman.

JOSH
He’s on his way, but – you’re wasting his time with this.

CLIFF
Stem cell’s not a waste, it’s a win for you with women, you must have polled on this.

JOSH
We have – that’s not the … 

CLIFF
Caregivers get what this research means for those with diabetes, Parkinson’s -

MATT appears in the doorway.

MATT
ALS, Alzheimer’s - yep, we’re on board.

CLIFF
Great to hear.

JOSH
But we’re not, going down with the ship. The problem isn’t stem cells, it’s asking us to stick around when there’s no viable strategy to win this.

CLIFF
I am talking to the Congressman, at his request, about his President’s agenda. Maybe, you could, give us a sec -

JOSH
You kicking me out? Of this office?

MATT
I got a better idea. Why don’t you give Josh and me a minute.

CLIFF (beat)
Take your time. (exiting) My office is your office.

JOSH
Was, in fact.

MATT closes the door behind CLIFF. 

JOSH
You set this up?

MATT
You can’t let me out of your sight for a minute.

JOSH
This is a lose-lose. As long as you stay, Haffley won’t call the vote. As soon as you leave, he will. There’s no way to change that.

MATT
There is one way, if you just hear me out.

JOSH
You have a plan to win this vote?

MATT
But I’m gonna need you to iron out some crucial details with Cliff.

CUT TO: INT. - SIDE OFFICE OF SITUATION ROOM – DAY

KATE is reading a file as MAJOR ANDERSON enters.

ANDERSON
Yes, ma’am?

KATE (holding up the file)
What’s this?

ANDERSON
Operation Northern Lights. It’s a working title.

KATE
You want to infiltrate Canada with CIA operatives posing as ranchers?

ANDERSON
Standard procedure in a hostage situation on foreign soil, assess the threat level.

KATE
Before the insertion/extraction phase?

ANDERSON
Yes, ma’am.

KATE
What are thinking, Blackhawks or HALO drop?

ANDERSON
I could game both out. DEFCON 1 out of Fort Bragg, then the other out of Mc -

KATE
Stop.

The FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN comes in the doorway.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
The ranchers are making a statement on Canadian television.

KATE (handing the file to ANDERSON as she leaves)
Don’t give this anyone. Including me.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

ANNABETH and the middle school group are in the hall at the doorway, peering inside.

ANNABETH
And the desk was made from the timbers of the HMS Resolute, which was presented to President Hayes by Queen Victoria in 1880. The Presidential coat of arms was added by FDR, who was President Bartlet’s hero when he was your age. (to a security guard) Thanks, Phil.

PHIL
Mm-hmm.

ANNABETH (to the group, gathered in the hallway)
So, are there any questions?

TOBY appears walking down the hallway.

ANNABETH
Ah! As promised, the Director of White House Communications, Mr. Toby Ziegler.

TOBY
Hi, everybody. Annabeth showing you the place?

ANNABETH
We only have the Roosevelt Room left.

TOBY (turning to leave)
Well, don’t let me interrupt.

CODY
I have one question for Mr. Ziegler, if I may?

TOBY
Sure. Uh, fire away.

CODY
Uh, do you know who we are?

TOBY
Yeah. Junior Leaders of, uh -

CODY
Future Leaders for Democracy. Were you briefed on our purpose?

TOBY
Probably not.

CODY
We’re a youth lobby in support of a constitutional amendment - to forbid discrimination of voting rights on the basis of age.

ANNABETH
They want the voting age lowered.

CODY
We want it abolished.

TOBY
Well, that’s – radical.

CODY
Wh, why did we get the brushoff today? Why do we keep getting passed down the food chain? Why do you keep looking at our chaperone or Miss Schott to intervene? We’re children – and that in itself shouldn’t render us meaningless. But in this society we are meaningless, ‘cause we’re powerless, we have no voice.

TOBY (scoffs)
Well, that’s an interesting point, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll read your stuff. (starts to leave)

ANNABETH (guiding the group away)
The Roosevelt Room -

CODY (stopping TOBY)
The brushoff again. And why not, no risk in offending us, we don’t exist.

TOBY
What is it you want?

CODY
More than a 15-minute tour and 30-second drive-by. We’ve been shuffled around, ten minutes here, ten minutes there. It’s like there’s a plot to keep us from discussing our agenda with anyone that matters.

ELISHA
What Cody means is that children’s suffrage is a complex issue, and it -

TOBY
I, I – I get it. I get what he means. Okay. (leading the group out of the hall) This is the Roosevelt Room … where issues are discussed.

TOBY and the group walk into the ROOSEVELT ROOM around the conference table.

TOBY
Pull up a chair.

CODY and the others, realizing what’s happening, begin to smile as they sit around the table.

TOBY (sitting)
It’s your meeting.

CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM – NIGHT

BARTLET is regaling the Nobel Laureates and guests with a story.

BARTLET
When he was asked why he wanted a one-armed economist, Truman said because he was always being advised, ‘on the one hand, but on the other hand …’

The group laughs. TAKAHASHI interjects from across the room.

TAKAHASHI
Academics often confound politicians.

BARTLET
Yes, in politics it’s dog-eat-dog; in academia it’s the opposite.

The guests laugh again.

TAKAHASHI
When Japan Railway privatized in ‘87, my theories were put to the test.

BARTLET
And you got lucky.

TAKAHASHI
It would have been hard to fail worse than the government had. All that red ink …

CJ and ABBEY exchange a look, then split up to get ready to intervene in the impending argument.

BARTLET
Mm, must be why the private sector turns to government for a bail-out when things get tough.

TAKAHASHI
And why disciplined leaders learn to say no.

ABBEY (coming up beside BARTLET)
I’m so sorry to interrupt - but they’re calling us in for dinner.

ABBEY leads BARTLET away, past TAKAHASHI.

BARTLET
Excuse us – (to ABBEY) Does the steward have laryngitis?

ABBEY
It’d be a pity to battle MS, only to succumb to an aneurysm.

BARTLET
Jefferson said it best – a man’s management of his own purse speaks volumes about character.

ABBEY
I’m, bu- you’re still pissed about Stockholm?

BARTLET
We were Nobel Laureates in economics. It was no empty gesture when he stiffed me for the cab fare.

CJ escorts TAKAHASHI as they approach BARTLET and ABBEY.

TAKAHASHI
I hear there is to be Latin dancing after dinner.

CJ
And he’s a big fan.

ABBEY
Oh -

TAKAHASHI
I trust you’ll save me tango, Dr. Bartlet.

TAKAHASHI is led away by CJ as the other guests move on.

BARTLET (to ABBEY)
Your dance card is full, Toots.

ABBEY
Jed, did you bring your cane?

BARTLET
You can hold me up.

ABBEY
Maybe I’ll give him just a little samba.

BARTLET
Over my dead body.

CUT TO: INT. - SITUATION ROOM – NIGHT

KATE, ANDERSON, FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN, and other military personnel are around the table. KATE is on a video call with a Canadian government official, FECTEAU.

FECTEAU (on phone)
The Prime Minister wishes to emphasize the unofficial nature of the ranchers’ declaration of war against the United States.

KATE (into speaker)
Thank you for that.

FECTEAU (on phone)
You have seen their demands on Canadian television?

KATE (into speaker)
We have.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN (into speaker)
Security officers at Waterton-Glacier National Park are on ready response.

KATE gives the FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN a look of baffled dismay.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN (to KATE)
Some volunteer reinforcements may be crossing over through Peace Park.

KATE (into speaker)
We are concerned about, reports of escalation – uh, an effigy-burning in Alberta?

FECTEAU (on phone)
A response to your governor of Montana.

ANDERSON (to KATE)
He mentioned calling in the National Guard. 

FECTEAU (on phone)
He referred to a contingency plan to invade Canada.

KATE (into speaker)
That is absurd, there is no US contingency plan to -

ANDERSON clears his throat and holds up a hand. KATE stops, staring in disbelief. A silence falls in the Situation Room.

FECTEAU (on phone)
Are you there?

KATE (into speaker)
Yeah, um … I was saying, we trust that local officials will resolve this very soon.

FECTEAU (on phone)
We’ll be in touch.

KATE disconnects the call and looks questioningly at ANDERSON.

KATE
We have a contingency plan to invade Canada?

ANDERSON
Would you like to be briefed?

KATE (sighing, rubbing her head)
Other, other developments?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
A sawmill in Climax is piling on.

KATE
Is Climax us or them?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
Them. They’re demanding President Bartlet drop tariffs on soft lumber products. And, uh, a meatpacking plant in Lodgepole – uh, us – they’re offering free coffee to all Americans on their way to the front.

KATE
Can we at least not call it a front?

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
The Royal Canadians have arrived, but they’re at a disadvantage. 

KATE
How so?

ANDERSON
Mounties’ standard issue is a Smith and Wesson nine millimeter.

KATE
And the hunters are packing 12-gauge shotguns.

ANDERSON nods in a noncommittal manner.

KATE
And … ?

ANDERSON
A couple of Barrett .50 caliber snipers, HK carbine fiber assault rifles, and infrared night goggles.

The FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN giggles. KATE turns to him as he looks away nervously.

CUT TO: INT. - OUTSIDE CLIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT

CLIFF is pacing impatiently outside the closed door to his office, where MATT and JOSH are meeting. The door opens and MATT steps out.

CLIFF
Congressman?

MATT (gesturing inside as he walks away)
Talk to Josh.

CLIFF walks into his office, finding JOSH sitting behind the desk.

CLIFF
He’s going to Hartford?

JOSH
Folks there paid to shake his hand.

CLIFF sits down across from JOSH.

JOSH (starting to stand)
You want me to, uh … ?

CLIFF
No, no, no, stay put, I’m fine here.

JOSH
But he can shake those hands, and be back in DC in a few hours.

CLIFF
And the dozen Congressmen who are heading out to stump for him?

JOSH (holding up his cell)
I’m ready to start calling them back.

CLIFF (standing)
Thank you, man.

JOSH
Thank the Congressman.

CLIFF heads around the desk to his chair as JOSH stands. They jockey for room as they switch places, exchanging a quiet ‘All right’; ‘sorry’; ‘no.’

CLIFF
But if there’s a single Republican on his flight or someone sees him at the airport -

JOSH
He’s flying himself. He’ll land at the private terminal – question is, where does he go after that?

CLIFF (beat)
Give me half an hour. It can be arranged.

CLIFF hurries out of the office as JOSH starts a phone call.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – NIGHT

CLIFF walks down the hall, takes a side staircase, and knocks at a small office door. The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN opens the door, in boxer shorts with his shirt unbuttoned, holding a pillow and sleeping bag.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Hi.

CLIFF
Congressman.

(Beat)

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Uh, do you want to come in?

CLIFF (entering, closing the door)
So, the rumor’s true, you really do sleep in your office.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Can’t afford DC rent on this salary. And in Pine Bluff, we favor a short commute.

CLIFF
The President needs you, Arkansas.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Ah, you shared my concerns on stem cell and I’m being summoned to the White House?

CLIFF
It’s more legwork the President needs – a loyal Democrat who can walk these halls and look like he belongs here.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (beat)
Where do I start?

CLIFF
Do you have some pants?

CLIFF steps out of the office into the stairwell and closes the door; we see the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN hopping inside his office, pulling on his pants.

CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – NIGHT

TOBY and ANNABETH are still meeting with the Future Leaders for Democracy.

TOBY
I’m saying all societies distinguish between an adult phase of life with inherent rights, and childhood as a time of development when those rights are curtailed.

CODY
Uh, but the 26th Amendment, lowering the voting age to 18, proves the line is arbitrary – or at least fluid.

A MAN steps in to whisper to ANNABETH.

MAN (whispering)
There’s a call for you.

ANNABETH
In the 30 years since the 26th passed, society has not much altered its stance on when adulthood begins. (she stands and steps out, excusing herself)

CODY
Uh, well -

TOBY
Eighteen is still the common age of graduation from school, military conscription -

CODY
What about children as young as 12 get tried for crimes as adults? So, I’m mature enough to face sentencing as a full citizen, but not to vote?

TOBY
Well, you can be pretty dumb and commit a crime. Voting requires a level of reasoning.

ELISHA
Adults don’t have to prove any level of reasoning to vote.

CODY
Nor should they.

TOBY (chuckling)
Okay, I’ll cede that, but would you agree children need special protections against coercion and mistreatment by adults?

CODY (nodding)
Sure.

TOBY
Those same vulnerabilities make them unable to vote independently.

CODY
That argument – immature logic -

ELISHA
And being easy to coerce -

CODY
That argument was used to prevent negroes and women from voting up until the 20th century.

ANNABETH (returning)
Sorry. (to TOBY) CJ’s looking for you. Your next meeting.

TOBY
Dining and dancing.

ANNABETH (to the group)
And your parents called from District Pizza, you guys are missing dinner.

ELISHA (as the kids realize, start to get up)
Oh my gosh, we are. Um – we took up a lot of your time.

CODY (offering his hand to TOBY)
Uh, it, it’s been great, sir. Another half-hour, I could have convinced you.

TOBY (shaking hands)
I believe you.

ELISHA
We heard District is the best pizza in town?

ANNABETH
Outrageous.

TOBY (to ANNABETH)
District Pizza delivers, don’t they?

ANNABETH
I think so.

TOBY and CODY exchange looks, as TOBY smiles slightly.

CUT TO: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – NIGHT

KATE walks in from the hallway up to MARGARET.

KATE
Uh, I need the Mural Room for a meeting.

MARGARET
Is it Canada? (exhaling) Okay … maybe I’m overly emotional these days. (standing to get the room schedule) But Mother’s Canadian, you know. Dad hails from, upstate, so there’s always been a north-south tug of war for us kids. Today’s events … this is the kind of thing that pulls families apart – pits brother against brother.

KATE looks on, baffled, as MARGARET sits at her desk.

KATE
So, can I have the room?

MARGARET
All yours. (as KATE walks away) Give peace a chance.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

A group of Secret Service and security agents open the door from the portico. Two men are carrying TAKAHASHI, keeping his feet off the ground.

MAN
Get the door, get the door!

CJ and ABBEY enter right behind TAKAHASHI, with BARTLET not far behind.

CJ
I wasn’t looking, I missed the whole thing.

ABBEY
He overdid it.

BARTLET
A man his age attempting a tango.

ABBEY
A physician is on the way.

TAKAHASHI
Oh, there’s no need.

CJ
Could we bring him some ice?

TAKAHASHI has been placed on a sofa, as one of the men who carried him step out of the Oval Office. ABBEY sits next to TAKAHASHI as another of the men supports his back.

BARTLET
You hit your head, did you hurt yourself?

TAKAHASHI
You’re the expert on soft landings. You tell me.

BARTLET (turning away)
He’s fine.

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – NIGHT

HAFFLEY is walking down the hall. He opens the door to MATT’s office, seeing a RECEPTIONIST on the phone.

RECEPTIONIST (holding up a finger to HAFFLEY, into phone)
Congressman Santos is in Hartford tonight. Do you want to leave word?

HAFFLEY (as the RECEPTIONIST hangs up the phone)
Sounds like I missed him.

RECEPTIONIST
I can try him on his cell.

HAFFLEY
Just tell him I stopped by. Good night.

As HAFFLEY exits, the RECEPTIONIST picks up the phone and presses a button.

RECEPTIONIST (into phone)
Elvis has left the building.

We see the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN opening the door of another office, peering around, and then stepping out, followed by MATT. They stealthily move down the hall, into a stairwell, and across an upper level. Eventually they enter RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE.

CLIFF
Anyone see you? (they shake their heads) Okay, Arkansas, Congressman Riley’s approaching the south entrance.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (heading back out of the office)
Got it covered.

CLIFF (to MATT)
Nice flight?

MATT
Little turbulence, but, you know, makes it interesting.

CLIFF
Oh.

MATT
Does the, uh, Vice President know we’re using his office for this?

CLIFF
I’m not telling him. (opening a door to an inner office) I’d keep the noise down and the curtains pulled.

MATT
You aren’t staying?

CLIFF
Miles to go, and I can’t be seen around here. Can I get you anything?

MATT
Is there coffee … ?

CLIFF (pointing)
Yeah, and soda’s there, washroom through there.

MATT (as CLIFF exits, closing the door)
Thanks.

MATT strolls through RUSSELL’s office, checking the washroom light, looking around, finally sitting on a sofa – only to hear a scream.

DONNA
Ahhhhhhhh! (a lamp falls over next to the sofa)

MATT (sliding to the floor)
No, no, no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, d-d-d-don’t, d-d-don’t scream! Don’t sc- I, I’m sorry!

DONNA
What in the - ?

DONNA sets the lamp back up and turns it on, breathing hard.

MATT
I’m sorry.

DONNA
Oh, God – I didn’t plan, I mean, I … oh, I crashed.

MATT
You’re Russell’s chicken fighter. 

DONNA
Donna Moss. You’re Matt Santos.

MATT
Running for President. Um – and I haven’t shaken your hand yet.

DONNA (shaking hands)
Okay. Assuming I’m not in some state of – deep REM hallucination -

MATT
I’m hiding out. We’re, uh, trying to outsmart the Speaker, have him think that we’ve all left town before he calls the vote tomorrow.

DONNA
And when you say ‘we’ … ?

MATT
There’s some others that are coming. (reaching for his coat that fell on the floor) Excuse me.

DONNA
Does the Vice President know that you’re - ?

MATT
This is not for the Santos campaign, it’s for the President. I bet you’re a fan.

DONNA
You’re not gonna try ‘it’s for stem cells everywhere,’ are you?

MATT (smiling)
That was going in next.

MATT and DONNA share a smile.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

BARTLET is filling an ice bag while TAKAHASHI holds his head, sitting on the sofa.

TAKAHASHI
I made a fool of myself.

BARTLET
We all know the feeling.

TAKAHASHI
Even Presidents?

BARTLET
Especially Presidents.

TAKAHASHI
You’re thinking of last week’s veto override?

BARTLET
No, but thanks for the reminder. Not that you should judge. You’d veto all government spending.

TAKAHASHI
You think I judge you?

BARTLET
We judge each other, always have. (bringing over the ice bag) Here, put this on it.

TAKAHASHI
Thank you. (he holds the ice bag on the back of his head) What if I were here as a friend, with a friendly warning?

BARTLET
What would that be?

TAKAHASHI
Japan has been heavily investing in your national debt.

BARTLET (pouring two drinks)
If you mean that Japan has been buying US Treasury bonds.

TAKAHASHI (taking a drink from BARTLET)
Foreign investors have bought 90 percent of your new debt. My government alone holds $700 billion in assets.

BARTLET
Since when did deficits bother you?

TAKAHASHI
They bother you. Your work was a jeremiad on keeping deficits low.

BARTLET
My work applied to developing economies.

TAKAHASHI
There are rumors Singapore may dump her dollars. It could start a run.

BARTLET
Never happen.

TAKAHASHI
Japan could not afford to be caught -

BARTLET
It’s in Japan’s own interest for these notes to hold their value.

TAKAHASHI
We have an aging population. We’ll have to divest.

BARTLET
Gradually. A soft landing – not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment behind your nightmare scenario.

TAKAHASHI
A deficit projected over $300 billion on your watch is not my nightmare.

BARTLET
Hence my veto of the highways bill.

TAKAHASHI
Which I mistook for mutual concern over the world’s greatest economy, burdened with mounting debt – increasingly held by foreign … friends.

BARTLET
What are friends for? 

CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM – NIGHT

KATE and WILL are sitting down with the Canadian AMBASSADOR.

AMBASSADOR
Thank you for seeing me, I know you’ve had a long day.

KATE
Will said something’s on your mind.

AMBASSADOR
As Canadian Ambassador, I am pleased to report all’s quiet on the Western front.

KATE
Though still unresolved.

AMBASSADOR
Yes. And when I spoke with the Vice President -

KATE
You – called the Vice President?

WILL
Uh, the Vice President called the Ambassador.

KATE can hardly believe her ears.

AMBASSADOR
I’ve had some, uh, unofficial conversations – you understand, I’m not at liberty to speak officially?

KATE
What are we talking about?

AMBASSADOR
Uh, I, you, you’ll have to excuse my, uh … I, um, I haven’t had much practice at this kind of intrigue.

WILL
We all learn by doing.

AMBASSADOR
Our two countries are close and historic friends. Yes, of course, there are some areas where we differ, uhhh – bovine spongiform is one.

WILL
And lumber tariffs.

KATE
Mail-order prescription drugs -

WILL
And US global military presence.

AMBASSADOR
But, on the whole, friends. If you would trust me, I could prevail upon the Premier of the province - to exert pressure on his citizens; to relent and allow the Americans free passage back across the border.

KATE
That’d be swell.

AMBASSADOR
Of course this would create, some expectations.

KATE
Expectations.

WILL
The Ambassador suggested if there were some flexibility on the US appeal of NAFTA’s lumber decision -

KATE
Guys, the United States does not make trade decisions based on the actions of amped-up cowboys.

WILL
Unless they’ve been elected to office.

AMBASSADOR (clearing throat)
I, I understand you can’t, uh, negotiate with me directly – but if you sense the possibility of an openness to consider my proposal, you could signal the same by … crossing your legs. 

WILL (noting that KATE’s legs are already crossed)
Or, uncrossing and crossing them again. (KATE looks at WILL) Just to be sure.

KATE (exasperating, standing)
Ambassador, listen carefully – an hour ago I reviewed the United States’ contingency plan to invade your country.

WILL
Uh, there’s a contingency plan?

KATE
1789, amended in 1815, the calligraphy is beautiful, and if one more ‘deal’ is floated in this room, I’m gonna ask DOD to reactivate it. 

KATE walks away as WILL and the AMBASSADOR are left standing in the room.

CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – NIGHT

Talks with the Future Leaders for Democracy continue. Pizza boxes, paper plates, and drink bottles are on the table. Some middle schoolers continue to eat as CODY debates TOBY.

CODY
You could argue that 18 is the worst age to start voting.

ELISHA
You’re all worried about college or, paying rent for the first time or falling in love.

CODY
It isn’t only power that corrupts, weakness corrupts. It makes kids grow up cynical.

TOBY
So you think half of adults don’t vote ‘cause they didn’t get started soon enough?

CODY
Uh, uh, absolutely, churches don’t wait. They, they get kids at birth. And it’s as kids we have unique concerns.

TOBY
Like what?

CODY
I’m going to be breathing the air and drinking the water after you’re long gone. (TOBY chuckles) But I can’t vote to protect the environment?

ELISHA
And we’re required to attend underfunded schools but, can’t vote to improve them.

TOBY
And kids who work pay into Social Security without any say as to how the fund is managed.

CODY
Right. When you guys fix Social Security you have to keep adults happy, but you can rob our future without losing a single vote.

TOBY
Here’s another one – poverty among young people exceeds all other age groups yet the government spends ten times more on each poor senior than it does each poor child.

ELISHA (realizing)
Wow.

CODY
We have no AARP to lobby for us. We have no voice at all.

ELISHA
So - are you, uh … did we convince you?

TOBY
Well – I’d go for lowering the age in increments, and I wouldn’t start at the federal level …

CODY
But, but, you’ll mention it to the President?

TOBY
I’ll do better than that.

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – NIGHT

The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN is escorting another Congressman (we’ll later hear is GREG) down the hall.

GREG
Where are we hiding?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Shhh – Republican at 12 o’clock. (loudly) But it’s crucial to the President -

GREG (loudly)
And I am in a crucial primary.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (to a REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN walking past them)
Sir.

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN (walking past them)
Gentlemen.

GREG (loudly)
I’m sorry, buddy, but I got a plane to catch.

The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN and GREG turn a corner. Then the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN peers back around the corner to see if the REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN is still in sight.

GREG (peeking around the corner)
We clear?

The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN and GREG quickly step across the hall in the other direction.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE – NIGHT

The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN and GREG walk in the door. The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN walks up to DONNA, who is preparing a carafe of coffee.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (whispering)
Hey, Donna.

DONNA (quietly)
Congressman. (handing him the carafe) You wanna take this in? (following him, with sugar and cups) What about popcorn? Smell too risky?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
I’d wait another hour.

DONNA knocks on the door to the inner office, using a code (Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits). She and the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN open the door, ushering in GREG. Inside is a crowd of Democratic Representatives, including MATT.

MATT (as the group applauds)
You made it.

The Representatives are milling about, chatting with each other, reading newspapers.

CONGRESSWOMAN 1 (to the CONGRESSMAN who just entered)
Greg – didn’t you get the message about provisions?

GREG (handing her a bottle of whiskey)
Voila.

CONGRESSMAN 1 (talking on a cell phone)
It’s 75 degrees here, I may never go back to DC.

CONGRESSWOMAN 2 (talking with CONGRESSMAN 2)
It was a dirty trick.

CONGRESSMAN 2
Worked like a charm, though.

CONGRESSWOMAN 2
The Speaker crossed a line.

CONGRESSMAN 2
You should’ve seen the stuff we pulled when we were in the majority.

CONGRESSMAN 3 (coming out of the washroom)
Why I hated coed dorms.

MATT (sitting on the sofa, holding court)
Once again, we let the Republicans set the terms. Now, this is therapeutic research, not reproductive cloning. (to ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN) Congressman, no more souls to ferry?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
All in for now.

MATT
Well, pull up a chair. We’re, uh, preaching to the choir here on stem cells.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
I may sing another tune.

The other Representatives mildly boo.

MATT
No, no, no, take it easy. He’s on our team.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (putting down the carafe)
Burns me up the Speaker didn’t put this to a fair vote.

MATT
Even though you’re leaning his way?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Should I turn in my decoder ring?

MATT
Haffley closed the floor to debate, but we’re not playing by his rules. What are your reservations?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (sitting)
I have morality questions.

MATT
Ask ‘em. We have all night.

MATT and the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN regard each other, with slight smiles.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. - OUTER OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

The door to the portico opens and CJ walks in, holding her arms against the cold.

CJ (to guard at the door)
Thank you.

CJ walks through the outer office and joins CLIFF in the hallway.

CLIFF
Half day?

CJ
Those Nobel Laureates can party.

CLIFF
Did Josh fill you in on what’s afoot on the Hill?

CJ
Operation Sleepover?

CLIFF
Yeah.

CJ
It’s a cool move, if it works. What I can’t figure is how you get Haffley to call the vote, he can put it off forever.

CLIFF
This is where squash comes in.

CJ (as they enter her office)
The sport or the vegetable?

CLIFF
I punish the Speaker every Thursday morning in a standing match.

CJ (grabbing her coat and putting it on)
Tomorrow?

CLIFF
In five hours, to be exact.

CJ (as they walk through the halls toward the foyer)
You’re gonna talk him into scheduling a vote on a squash court?

CLIFF
And shut him out with my awesome forehand at the same time. Here’s how it’ll go: I say, ‘ooh, nice nick’ - squash talk - ‘and nice maneuver on the floor yesterday, pulling the vote.’

CJ
He says, ‘Thanks - let, please’ - I played a little squash.

CLIFF
‘Everything’s a game with you,’ I say, ‘even research that could save millions of lives.’

CJ
‘Stem cell’s not a game,’ thus speaketh Haffley.

CLIFF
‘Looks like that to the President.’

CJ (loudly)
‘This research could lead to trafficking in human embryos. I don’t take that lightly.’

CLIFF (in kind)
‘Oh, come on. If this were a trip to moral high ground and not an inside-the-beltway bitch slap, you’d schedule the vote now that you can win – thus protecting clustered cells in petri dishes everywhere. Why let it slide? Maybe the Republican Party has a stronger interest in keeping its base agitated than it does in protecting the sanctity of human life.’

CJ (beat)
Might work. Gonna have to let him win a game, though.

CLIFF (as CJ exits)
No mercy.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE – NIGHT

The room is dark. Most of the Representatives are trying to grab some sleep wherever they can. MATT and the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN are continuing their discussion in a corner of the room, quietly.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Yes, they’re in labs. But they’re still embryos.

MATT
No. What, what they are … have, have you seen them? They’re frozen, fertilized eggs.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
Call them eggs, call them genetic material – they’re potential human life.

MATT
Potential, that’s the key. These embryos may contribute to life, but, but they can never become a person, or, or even a fetus, without a mother’s womb.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
That’s a fine line.

MATT
Mystery of life. It’s all fine lines and tough odds – as anyone who’s ever been through in vitro fertilization knows. Do you object to that, too?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
In vitro? No. That’s science helping folks conceive.

MATT (as DONNA comes in through the door)
Well, these cells are what’s left over when that work is done.

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
But the science is the same as the science of cloning.

MATT
That’s why funding would be limited to discarded cells. If not used in research, these cells would be thrown away and there would be no outcry from Congress. And, you know, if it’s a moral call … and I, I agree it is … what about the morality of dragging our heels when we could be alleviating suffering?

The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN ponders this as DONNA watches from across the room.

CUT TO: INT. - SITUATION ROOM – NIGHT

KATE bursts through the door and walks up to ANDERSON, holding a piece of paper.

KATE
Is this true?

ANDERSON
We have Officer Horn at the site confirming it now.

KATE
An American helicopter entered Canadian airspace without a flight plan and emergency-landed in a field half a click from the standoff?

HORN (on speakerphone)
Yes, ma’am.

KATE (into speaker)
This was a UH-1H helicopter?

HORN (on speakerphone)
Yes, ma’am.

KATE (to ANDERSON)
A Huey?

ANDERSON
They make civilian aircraft, too, we have deniability -

KATE
I don’t want deniability, I want absolute assurance that this was not part of a military action on our part!

ANDERSON
I can’t vouch for Black Ops -

KATE
Okay. Enough. This is stopping now. The problem is not a few rowdy outlaws from a bygone era blowing off testosterone, the problem is us! We’re still the Wild Bunch. I mean, the higher it goes, the hotter the risk! I just threatened the Canadian Ambassador! Someone on the ground has got – okay – (into speaker) Officer, are you still there?

HORN (on speakerphone)
I am.

KATE (into speaker)
Who is the ranking Canadian officer at the scene?

HORN (on speakerphone)
The Grasslands Eco-region Director.

KATE (into speaker)
Does he or she have access to a bullhorn?

HORN (on speakerphone)
Could be arranged.

KATE
Okay, what if … it’s just past midnight Mountain Time. (into speaker) Announce the end of hunting season.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
That’s not till next week.

KATE
Just changed. Ended at midnight. (into speaker) And anyone of any nationality discharging a firearm is subject to immediate and permanent loss of their hunting license.

HORN (on speakerphone)
It could work.

FISH AND WILDLIFE MAN
These guys don’t fool around with huntin’.

KATE (to ANDERSON)
Give it a shot.

CUT TO: INT. - BARTLET BEDROOM – NIGHT

ABBEY is lying in bed as BARTLET gets ready to climb in, still ranting about TAKAHASHI.

BARTLET
The man’s a gnat – a buzzing mosquito.

ABBEY
Mm-hmm.

BARTLET (climbing into bed)
Nah, he’s a pit bull – locks his jaws and won’t let go.

ABBEY
Yeah.

BARTLET 
With his doomsday predictions.

ABBEY
Uh-huh.

BARTLET
Not that that stuff keeps me awake.

ABBEY
No. What keeps you awake is the deficit.

BARTLET (beat)
First term we made so much progress we were talking balanced budget.

ABBEY
Economy slowed …

BARTLET
Costs spiraled … security at home … terrorism - (sighs) Peacekeeping abroad, Republican tax cuts – I couldn’t control it, and I’m an economist, for God’s sakes.

ABBEY
Mmm, and a smart one.

BARTLET
You gotta ask, what’s the next guy, a mere mortal, gonna do?

ABBEY (pause)
It’s like Eisenhower.

BARTLET
In what way?

ABBEY (sleepily)
Even though he’d been a general, when he was President he couldn’t do anything to control the military-industrial, you know …

BARTLET considers this, sighs, and settles into the covers.

BARTLET
He did one thing.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE – DAY

The Representatives are still camped out, waiting, after sleeping through the night. Some are reading newspapers, others with cups of coffee. DONNA enters with a box of donuts to share.

DONNA
Haffley just called the first procedural bill of the day, approving the journal.

CONGRESSMAN 2 (taking a donut)
Testing to see if there’s anyone here to flush out.

DONNA
He announced the day’s going to be about pharmaceutical drug trials.

The group groans.

MATT
Stem cell isn’t on the agenda.

DONNA
No.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

The foyer is set up for a press conference, with a group of reporters, photographers, and cameramen all set up in the space. A lectern with the seal of the President is at the front of the room. TOBY walks in with CODY.

TOBY
This is a nationally televised Presidential press conference, you don’t speak unless you’re called on.

CODY (going to take his place with the reporters)
Yes, sir.

CJ (meeting TOBY at the hallway entrance to the foyer)
The President’s on his way.

TOBY
Anything from the Hill?

CJ
Not so far.

BARTLET and ANNABETH appear in the hallway behind TOBY and CJ. BARTLET is looking over his remarks, in a folder ANNABETH is holding.

BARTLET
You think that would be appropriate?

ANNABETH
I don’t think that would be a problem at all, sir.

BARTLET (chuckling)
All right. (to TOBY and CJ) Good morning.

CJ and TOBY (together)
Morning, sir.

BARTLET
You ready to shake things up, Toby?

TOBY
Yes, sir. If you’re in the mood, there’s a young man in the back you might want to call on.

WOMAN (VO, as BARTLET takes the podium)
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

BARTLET
Good morning.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE – DAY

The Representatives continue to wait, milling around and discussing in small groups.

CONGRESSWOMAN 1 (putting on an earring)
I love you all, but two days without a change of clothes, I may switch parties.

GREG (coming out of the washroom, holding a tube of toothpaste)
Whose toothpaste was this?

A Representative next to GREG holds out his hand, and GREG hands him the tube.

GREG (looking around at the quiet group)
What did I miss?

CONGRESSMAN 2
We’re reconsidering our strategy.

MATT
Well, let’s give it another hour, guys.

The group murmurs, unconvinced. DONNA opens the door behind MATT and quickly enters.

DONNA
Haffley just called the vote.

MATT
For stem cell?

DONNA
Just now. (the Representatives spring from their seats, some clapping) Well, 20 seconds ago.

MATT (to the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN)
Got your voting card?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN (pulling a card from his shirt pocket)
Right here.

MATT
Go on out there and vote.

The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN smiles slightly as he heads for the door.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

Reporters are shouting and waving to ask their questions of BARTLET.

CHRIS
Mr. President -

BARTLET (pointing)
Chris.

CHRIS
Mr. President, as you head into your final year in office, do you have any regrets? 

BARTLET
One big regret … and here’s your lede, people … is my failure to bring the budget deficit under control. I know, an election cycle is warming up and no one wants to hear about budget deficits, but both sides are gonna hear about them from me. That’s my campaign promise.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL’S HOUSE OFFICE – DAY

The doors to the inner office open, and MATT strides through, leading the other Representatives out into the Capitol hallway.

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL HALLWAY – DAY

Outside the House chambers, a Republican Congressman is congratulating HAFFLEY on the vote.

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN (shaking hands with HAFFLEY)
Honestly, I wasn’t sure you’d follow through and schedule it.

HAFFLEY
Thanks for your vote, Congressman.

MAN (VO)
One more vote arriving!

HAFFLEY (shaking hands with another Republican Congressman)
Thanks for coming in. (seeing a Congresswoman entering, reaching out to shake her hand) Angela – thanks for coming in. With your help, we’ve got this one sewed up.

We see MATT leading the group of Democrats across the upper level as the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN walks up the hallway toward the House chamber. HAFFLEY smugly watches him approach.

HAFFLEY
Thought maybe you’d join us on this one. The administration bend your ear?

ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN
I made up my own mind, Mr. Speaker.

MATT continues to lead the Democrats through the Capitol hallways.

HAFFLEY
I had such high hopes for you. (to a staffer) You know, sometimes when you get ‘em when they’re still wet behind the ears, it’s …

HAFFLEY’s voice trails off as MATT and the other Democrats appear down the hall, heading for the House chamber. HAFFLEY glances at the ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN and back at the Democrats, as if he realizes he’s been had.

MATT (walking past HAFFLEY)
Mr. Speaker.

HAFFLEY glumly watches the group go past. The ARKANSAS CONGRESSMAN gives him a half-shrug and a raised eyebrow, then walks away … and we see CLIFF there in the hallway.

CLIFF
Good match today.

CLIFF, smiling, turns and walks away, as HAFFLEY turns and stares into the House chamber.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

The reporters continue to hold up their hands and call out to be recognized by BARTLET.

BARTLET (pointing)
Uh, the young man in the back, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.

CODY (standing, grinning)
Cody Zucker, Mr. President.

BARTLET (as the other middle schoolers clap)
Cody - ?

CODY
Uh – do you think the budget deficit is especially unfair to younger Americans?

BARTLET
Absolutely. We’re passing on a crushing debt to our children … that’s not something a responsible parent would choose to do. (pointing to another reporter) Yeah, David?

CODY
A, a followup, sir. Uh - do you think we’d have such a large deficit if children were allowed to vote?

BARTLET
Well, as adults, we’re certainly not shouldering our responsibility, and your generation has a vested interest. Allowing children to vote is worthy of consideration. Thank you, Cody.

CODY, still grinning, exchanges a look with TOBY as he takes his seat. TOBY looks satisfied as the press conference continues in the background.

BARTLET (VO)
Yeah, David -

DAVID (VO)
Mr. President, what plans do you have to rein in the budget deficit before the end of -

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – NIGHT

CJ is walking through the foyer and crosses paths with KATE, who is on her way out.

CJ
Well done, Commander Harper.

KATE
Cooler heads prevailed.

CJ
All Americans home safe?

KATE
Peace in our time.

CJ continues into CLIFF’s office, where he is packing up items into a folder while watching C-SPAN.

C-SPAN REPORTER (on TV)
The surprise arrival was led by Presidential hopeful Congressman Matt Santos.

MATT (on TV)
It was a stunt, no doubt about it.

CJ
Good work.

CLIFF
Group effort. Santos was the brains, 216 Congressmen and women did the voting.

CJ
And on the squash court?

CLIFF
Best of five. All by myself.

CJ turns and exits. CLIFF continues to pack up his briefcase as MATT continues on the TV.

C-SPAN REPORTER (on TV)
- was underhanded, are you satisfied with the outcome?

MATT (on TV)
You know, sometimes the American people wonder what it is we do here in Congress. Sometimes I wonder myself. Today wasn’t one of those days.

OTHER REPORTER (on TV)
Congressman -

MATT (on TV)
Yes?

OTHER REPORTER (on TV)
Do you -

CLIFF turns off the TV.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

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The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x17 – A Good Day
Original Airdate: March 2, 2005